I'm Telling You This Because You Haven't Been Lucky Enough To Escape A Break-Up

Dr. Sarvesh Jain Dr. Sarvesh Jain in Bakkar. Chai. Sutta on 22 October, 2017

"Love can't break you, but the break-up can."

Every story has two-parts, one that is happy, cheerful, with balloons and confetti and the other, which is the truth. And the truth never makes a person comfortable.

The second part of a love story starts with the end of the first. The part you live after your break-up. One can and one should be able to relate to this. No one is that lucky to never have experienced a break-up.

If you haven't experienced a break-up, you haven't experienced love.

Break-ups are hard. All of us know it. Deleting someone from your heart isn't as easy as deleting from elsewhere. We know that even before we love them. And we'll remember it when we'll love again. Oh yes! We will.

You may cut the wings of a bird, but that doesn't stop her from dreaming of flying high. We may have fallen, we may have become injured, maybe even broken some bones; but our dreams are intact.

Our strength to love again is intact. We know the suffering; we know the pain. But what you don't understand is that we know the love too.

We know the goddamn taste of love, we have relished it and we know how good that makes us feel!

We're grown enough to know when we are in trouble. Our experiences have taught us that. “Write hard and clear about what hurts,” said Ernest Hemingway.

No matter how it feels to be broken, to be damaged or left out; it is tougher to leave than to be left out.

When someone leaves you, there is anger, but when you leave, there is guilt. And guilt hurts a thousand times deeper than anger.

These damages don't leave scars on the face; you can't see them in the appearances either. They touch your nerve, cut your hope, slander your trust, diminish your strength, bend your power, tarnish your ego and make you weak.

They simply break you in ways that you can never re-collect yourself.

If you're strong, if you have good friends and advisors, you may not want to kill yourself and end the suffering on the spot. Maybe you'll look for the next sunshine. Maybe you'll start believing in a better tomorrow. Maybe you'll start hoping for sunshine and rainbows in the sky. Maybe you will.

But all the positivity cannot make you what you were the moment before either of you decided to call it off; to just put the damn full stop to the story.

You lose interest in everything; you lose confidence, hope and sometimes your senses too. You start doing things which you once thought were below your dignity— menial jobs, boring internship, degrading events, which not only attack your esteem but also make you believe that you deserve that kind of a life.

You miss them; as much as you'd hate to admit it. We all do.

They may not be what we had planned or hoped for, but they did make us feel happy, make us feel loved and I guess that's enough. You don't even need a special occasion to start missing them; you miss them over silly things.


You could come across that restaurant where you had lunch, probably just one time. You have no f******g relation with that place, you don’t even like it, but it still makes you miss them. You miss them when you see a couple by the roadside and your subconscious mind hits you with memories that you once made.

It could be as ridiculous as missing them on every song you sang together or enjoyed over the radio.

You miss their kisses. You miss their hugs too. You miss lying on the bed with them and crave to fill that empty space beside you. You miss the times they put their head on your chest to hear your heartbeat getting faster and louder, knowing that they were the reason behind.

You miss them, even when you think you don't.

There is no end to this misery. Be positive and think that this could be the best thing that has ever happened to you, but until then, this is not the best thing that has ever happened to you.

There will be pain, and there is no way out.

Perhaps, with time, you'll learn to smile again. Perhaps you will.

Editor's Note:

Share this story because we can all love again, and you know it now.