I've always worked in female-dominated offices. So, I'm no stranger to 'Girl Talk', a lot of which is about guys. I’ve heard it all, but from what I barely remember about 'Guy Talk', words that stick out like hashtags definitely include "stubble…cute...shoulders..." sounds like motivation for me to go the gym and maybe grow a beard.
Sometimes I also speak about what I want - slim, attractive, girls.
Maybe women don’t directly call me out for wanting a slim girlfriend when I mention it. But it still happens. There’s loaded sentences - “only dogs like bones”. But if girls can spend hours talking about what they find handsome about men, often in a ROMANTIC context, shouldn’t the converse be true- that guys should be allowed to say that fat is not attractive - in a ROMANTIC context? The media has evolved to become okay with girls talking about sex, their preferences and opinions. When did society evolve to this point - and then suddenly refuse to acknowledge what men want? Or rather, why does it skirt the issue?
Sonakshi Sinha, I don’t find you hot. Or, for that matter, other curvy or fat girls hot. No, I’m not fat-shaming you. I just don’t like it, just the same way I don’t like bleached hair. It is just what I prefer. I want attractive physical qualities the same way women want them in men.
I don’t guilt women for making me feel bad about my stubble, biceps, abs, so back off and let me say it out loud - I want to date slim women. For me, like for many other men, ‘attractive’ means ‘slim’, but not all slim women are attractive. A woman can be slim and intelligent, and yes, before you raise the argument that society is forcing women to be thin, you must consider that a woman can actually ENJOY working out. For me, a woman’s status as attractive means she is kind, sweet, loving, and other things - and just one of the many things is being slim.
But when I spell out what I want in a potential girlfriend, women make it sound like I’m buying hookers on Flipkart. A relationship is mind, BODY and soul, and I will NOT be guilted into dating and having sex with someone I don’t find attractive.
This is usually when women insert the obligatory #InnerBeauty argument. But how is ignoring your health "inner beauty"? You don’t love yourself if climbing a flight of stairs can tire you out, or you need all that sugar and carbohydrates in your diet even though that is NOT what any doctor would order. Wanting my girlfriend to be slim doesn’t mean I want a girl who starves herself - it means she burns more calories than she consumes. How hard is it to exercise 20 minutes and also not finish off an entire Dairy Milk every day? If we can condemn khap panchayats for not letting women date men they are attracted to, let's give men the right to say it out loud.
I write this not only for myself, but for every man who is uncomfortable to say out loud that he wants a slim waist and a tight butt. Anything less than that and you are being a hypocrite, women.