This New Year India woke up in Bangalore to: Sisters molested by mobs of brothers. Public outcry, insensitive comments by politicians, some arrests and a whole load of shame. I also want to vent my anger and I will give a 'male point of view'. So here it goes:
Girls and boys are not the same:
You are right, boys cannot give birth and girls can. There are other physiological differences as well. But aren't girls just like boys when it comes to walking freely on the streets, dressing as they wish, loving who they want, and leading a life they choose? Yes they are same.
Girls need to dress up responsibly:
First let us talk about responsibility, it means “to be answerable or accountable, as for something within one’s power, control, or management”.
Yes girls can be responsible but who is defining what is responsible and what is not? The Boys? Or the male dominated society?
Women in India who are groped are not always wearing western clothes nor is every girl groped at late night parties. Women in Salwars and Saris are also groped and molested. Even small kids as small as 6 years of age have become victims of frustrated men.
So it's clear it's not about dresses, it is about the need to address the issue that is beyond a few stitches.
Boys are after all boys:
Really? Then they are boys who have not learnt very well from their mothers; probably they grew up seeing their fathers showing his male dominancy against their mother and may be even rejoiced and clapped their hands to it.
No ‘Boys are not after all Boys’, being a boy should not get you bail for every filth you create.
The media is to blame:
An argument to show that media destroys traditional values. Like blaming Sunny Leone for misleading the pious men. Men who molest and grope women have always been in India even before media became liberal and even before social media and cell phones came up. Yesterday I was watching Govind Nihlani’s Ardh Satya, a tribute to the late Om Puri ji. One of the scenes in the movie was that of a guy groping Smita Patil in the bus. She was dressed in a white sari. This was a movie I believe in the seventies before mobiles and media came up.
In our society, man trying to dominate a woman has always been the case and blaming the media is like trying to wash away the responsibility of following, “Boys and Men need to change.”
It is a shame for the country:
If you can be proud of a country for something you did not do, you can be ashamed as well for a crime you didn't commit either.
But before you do that, let me ask you one thing — “Are you worried about being shamed or are you worried about the safety of people on the streets?” Because I remember the hue and cry created around the documentary ‘India’s Daughter’ a while ago, where a group of people said that it is done just to tarnish India’s image.
Girls and women should only go out with trusted males:
Nice argument (showing your concern) but it'll fall flat in a society where even men in the family show their dominance over women. Safety is when one can go out alone and not with guards.
After all, it is the same men who protect their women who grope other women.
The issue is not protection, it is safety, my friend, and a moral responsibility to make the society safe, liberal and responsible.
It is a result of western influence:
This argument is mainly by people who oppose events like Valentine’s day and consider the partying culture 'un'Indian. I think it is also the growing economic division and consumerism that is dividing India.
If we take the traditionalists opposing Valentine’s day events out of the picture, there is still the growing consumerism surrounding these events that alienate a good number of people in the society. I remember myself being an opposer of Valentine’s day back in college where we thought we were vigilantes of a moral society. I guess it was not just vigilantism on our end but a kind of frustration with the thought that people who celebrate Valentine’s day had a better time in life.
A day for love is great. But yes the consumerism surrounding it can create a division, especially in societies like India. Blaming the western influence is like putting a blinder on real issues.
Social Media also has a big role to play here. The solution is not to stop the events, but to impress the need of gender equality in our society.
The impact of a narrow mind:
The narrow mind of people who always suspiciously look when a girl and boy walk together has to be countered.
Even in western societies, there are atrocities against women and that is not because of media and consumerism but the underlying character of the dominant male.
So, blaming the western society is not always right. In India where the society had a different form before the surge of western consumerism, the challenges could be different. People think kissing in public is bad even now, regardless of whether they love each other or are married (a license to kiss by the society in Indian standards). We have a different mentality in the society. When two lovers kiss in public, that does not mean that you can go and join them.
So we need to think about what makes some Indian males so frustrated both sexually and emotionally. Unless that is addressed there is no way you can cope up with any negative effects of a culture change.
Comment “Women are sugar, men are ants”:
This comment was made by the moron Samajwadi Party leader Abu Azmi.
Well we all know what we do to ants loitering near the sugar jars or even on kitchen tables.
We can talk about shame and blame and other things, but unless we are ready to take head on the issues that cause some men and mobs to act like this, we will not find a solution.
#Notallmen do it, why? Why only some do it? what does that signify? Why do some men act differently? What do the responsible men have over the irresponsible men?