Indian Society Love Ban heartbreak lost love State

Our Love Survived A State Ban, But Love Alone Wasn't Enough To Keep Us Together

( words)
*For representational purpose only.

In 2016, we met on Facebook and became close friends, unexpectedly. Thereafter, God knows how we became virtual lovers. We decided to meet, and just after the first meeting we were madly into each other. It was all dreamy and heavenly. Best times we spent with each other, though mostly virtual.

He is a resident of another state, 700 Kms away from mine. Yet, he would come to meet 2-3 times in a year and we would have some short meetings. It was always tough to say goodbye, at a metro station, a railway station and sometimes even in a cab. At each goodbye, there were promises made, to meet again, to love each other the same forever. We never ran into hopelessness, for our love.

I would die to meet him. I waited and planned for next meetings in between. My whole life was concentrated on him only. He would video call me and we would meet each other virtually. He used to promise to meet soon. With great patience and love, our relationship endured everything it could. From internet ban in his state to even call ban. It was a deep unconditional love, not dependent on seeing each other, or hearing each other's voice daily. There was a trust between us, that never let us have doubts even over long distance. Our hearts knew we are together, and that was all.

I was living in a hostel from 2016 to 2020. I had girls around me who would go daily to meet their lovers with great enthusiasm. I would miss him by seeing all this. But, I had patience that he will come too. After each of our short meetings, I hoped that he would not have to leave my city one day. That one day we could be together. I had options like other girls to have a love affair in my city. People approached, but nobody ever crossed my mind other than him. This is how this relationship went on and on over days, months, years.

Even my career was influenced by him. After completing my graduation, I planned to prepare for civil services. It was my dream to marry him one day and cracking this exam was one and only way I could get a job in his state and his family could accept me. Me being an outsider.

However, a state of emergency came in his state. In August 2019, we were cut off of every kind of contact from each other, for some three months. Each day and each hour was like a prison for me during those times. I had no idea where he was. If he was okay, or if he will ever be able to make contact with me.

I used to send letters to him a few years back so I tried that option again. But even Postal services were banned. I was in despair with no hope left. Visiting wasn't even an option, considering the situation there. I just waited and waited.

Until one day, my phone rang. It was a landline number from his state. My heart began to beat fast, I knew it was him.

Yes, that's how we kind of re-found each other. Amidst internet, phone, text ban after that, we endured it all. He came to meet too. We had beautiful moments of comfort and love. We thought what could come in between to tear us apart? We had a kind of uncertainty about us but that didn't let us end it. We lived in the moment.

But something happened, that kind of fastened the process of our separation. It was somewhere visible to us that after he will become stable, his family would want to marry him to a local girl. I will not be acceptable to them.

Then the unthinkable happened. My father got diagnosed with cancer, while his family pressured him to get married to a local girl. He has no excuse to tell his parents now. I can't leave my family at this time of despair, neither can he make a case for us before his family. They're adamant to marry him soon and I can't ask him to fight. It's a situation where separation is our last resort.

Well, this is how this beautiful relationship is crushed by fate. He is disturbed too, as he can't trust anybody for marriage. But he has limited options. I am still with him in helping him to be happy with whatever life has written for us. I love him, and for me only this is in my control. I will keep loving him because I never lived without loving him since I know the meaning of love. Marrying is not an option for us visibly. But, that can't be an end to my love as, the kind of love we have, has no end.

And marriage can't definitely decide its fate.

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