Love In The Times Of Polyamory?

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*For representational purpose only.

Why on earth am I writing this – because it’s your birthday and we have blocked each other and I just wrote "happy birthday" on the chat window knowing very well that you are not going to read it or reply?

Now, this is not only creepy, useless, needy but in reality, just sad.

A few days back. Finally, it was over. We promised not to call each other, blocked each other and said our goodbyes.

3 months back. You preferred to chat over calls. 'It’s a millennial thing' - you said. You said nothing could be done about this feeling and I strongly agreed. However, the habits didn’t go. What did we chat about all the time? Suddenly, it was a difficult job and really scary as well. We were ever amending the ground rules of chatting. It was becoming annoyingly painful to chat with you and the mood swings were covering each season of India (including natural disasters like flood, drought, earthquakes etc.).

6 months back. Your last day in the city and it was the hardest. Guess what? That day even cracked into the top 10 worst days of my life. "This is the time – now or never." - I told myself. So, I told you what I felt about you, badly shaking the whole time not knowing what you felt about me. Some part of me, however, knew that you liked me too but the other practical part was like “Don’t be mad”. You didn’t say much as usual but a few days later, I received a message - "I believe I am in this love sh** with you!" In that moment, I didn't know whether to be sad or happy.

Start of year. I hear you were leaving. The days were limited and bucket list long. Shit!

End of last year. The conversations were now more personal. Did we chat daily now? Oh! That’s strange! Did you prefer chatting with me while you were out partying with friends? Did we just hint at the fact that we missed each other? Did we just refer to you and me as “us”.

Mid of last year. We talked about work (mostly b***hing about people and work), movies, series, songs (mostly pop culture and Netflix) and sometimes pure junk, which was a total waste of time and totally worth it.

Last year. Hmm... new friend, not bad.

Six years back. I got married!

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