Dear Future Husband, I Pray That We Both Die At The Same Time

Bhawna Jaiswal Bhawna Jaiswal in Stolen Diaries on 20 November, 2017

Dear future husband, to whom my father will give his “daughter ” to,

I'll begin by writing about Karwachauth, which is said to be a very auspicious festival for Indian women. Honestly, I don’t know the exact story of this day but what I know is that every Indian wife considers this as the age increment of her husband. They keep fasting the whole day without drinking a drop of water, in the hope that their married life will be happier in the upcoming life and her husband will live longer and healthier.

I won’t keep the fast; actually, I can’t. Nor will I pray anything for you on that day. The reason is that I don’t know the concept of Karwachauth nor am I getting the vibes to keep it for you. I won’t be able to wear the heavy sarees with gold jewels and number of bangles in my hand, as I can’t handle that discomfort. I have always been a simple girl and I want you to accept my “simplicity” with your kind heart. 

So, may I ask you for a long ride instead? With a coffee date and romantic movie? Can’t we do it this way, different from the crowd?
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You know I have always been practical in terms of spirituality. I say through words and express through writings. I pray through the heart and bless through actions. I will never ever pray for you; instead, I will pray for ‘us’. And ‘us’ contains our whole family within.

I haven’t met you till now or I maybe I have already but unbeknownst to me. Yet I still pray for our success, our happiness and our love to grow with time. I won’t pray for your long life. But I will always pray that you live till my last breath and vice versa. You know why? Because I don’t want to leave you alone in this world for a single second without my lively presence. Neither do I want to live without you.

I know I am selfish here, but I am scared that no one is going to take care of you if I wouldn't be there when we will get old and probably have knee pain. Similarly, when you won’t be there and I will be tensed for unnecessary reasons then who will understand me? In the winter when your skin will become dry, then how will you use moisturizer as you will be unaware of how to apply it to your hairy arms? When you won’t be there and if I needed to go market, then who will book a cab for me, as my eyesight won’t be that good to read and write? Without each other, we can’t even enjoy our chicken as I will look for bones and you will say ”It’s over baby, you can’t eat it”, and then there are our dates, the movies, the paper dosa, the secret fantasies and so much more. And that’s the reason I don’t want any of us to survive alone.

I can’t keep fast for now; I think I would never (because I can’t control my hunger) but I am sure the love and the praise and the respect I have for you can’t be matched with a fast, and I am satisfied with it.
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This is going to be the first letter, but I will come up with more because I love written emotions instead through words. And maybe I will force you too for this, and you will have to write such long letters, posts, emails and messages to me. And I will thank you for this!

Sorry for being a slightly less than the ‘best’ wife , but I can assure you that this girl will hold your hand forever and will be with you at your thick and thin, laugh and cry with you, and will be there for you to bite you by sitting on your backseat in our “Activa 4g “.
Love you ❤

Bhawna 

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