When and where did I go wrong? Was I wrong to open up to you? Or was I wrong to have fallen in love with you? At least you could have given me a warning, that falling in love with you is dangerous.

People say love just happens. Well I say, a majority of us - we decide to fall in love.

When you first start talking for long hours, knowing that the long conversations will bring you closer to the other person, we continue to talk. Isn't that intentional? But, didn’t I ask you directly, "Can I fall in love with you? Am I safe to let my feelings grow?" You said yes. You promised me, we will marry each other.

I know you are a man of your word. Then why did you let this promise slip? You were much older than me. Honest. Trustworthy. Empathetic. A man of his words. I know you still are. But was it necessary to make an exception for me? I was not very good at speaking my mind. I was the second girl child when my grandparents were expecting a grandson.

No-no my family loves me a lot. Still the feeling you have when you know you were unwanted is unbearable. Since my childhood, whenever I was sad I stayed quiet and cried to myself. You know it. Yet, why did you decide to leave me all alone, when I spoke with you rudely just once? Weren't you the one shoulder I trusted to cry upon.

We were intimate. And you said that we were life partners, also that I meant the whole world to you. Your snoring was like a lullaby to me. It made me sleep. Your loving care was what I longed always. Your arm was my pillow.

All this, was it only because you wanted to make me feel secure? I know our relationship made me forget my ex. But, I also stood by you after knowing about your bad marriage, making myself believe our relationship is not wrong. Because you deserved to be loved. I am who I am now because of you. A confident and beautiful person.

Even with all that you gave me, I desire my heart was not broken. Humans are really selfish, aren’t they? Darling, don't you remember giving the biggest piece of chicken to me, eating on the same plate with me? Laughing and smiling with me? Talking to me? Playing with me? Your mischievous glances at me? Treating me like your queen? You did all this, but why did you decide to move on and leave me? The movie you promised to watch with me, why was it never me but her?

Every day, your every action, broke me into a million pieces. Couldn’t you hear the shattering sound? Did you see my tears? Believe me, even after three years have passed by, I still cry thinking of you. I will grow up one day and get over this. But right now I am no better than a year old child. Not a bucket, but my tears surely fill a bowl.

My heart and my eyes just don’t listen to my mind. I know you are always there for me, but I still can't digest the reality that it will never be the same again. My dear, why did you leave me alone? Was it because I was harsh with you when you spoke with her that whole night and not me?  Was it because I was against you and her getting intimate. And I could no longer stay in the same room.

I was angry and showed you I was angry. But I hoped you'd console me someday. Not a single time did you come to me after she entered your life. I can't blame her, because you lit the fire between us in the dark, then blew it up and then extinguished it in the dark again.

How can I talk to her when she doesn’t even know? And I don’t want your relationship to fall apart. But, I can talk to you because you were mine. Didn’t you tell me that?

You made me realize that us human beings, we have frivolous hearts.

I am not complaining, but don't I deserve a closure at least, your version of the story. All these years, what I demand is not an apology, but just an explanation for why you abandoned me and our relationship and moved on with my sister.

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