After my first breakup, I was single for about two years. I was happy with my job, my life, my family and my friends.
Everything was going perfectly well until the day when I heard her voice for the first time in the office.
I turned around to see who she was but I could not see her face as the window blocked my view. I managed to get a glimpse of her attire - brown boots, light blue jeans, and a velvet top and the very next minute, I saw her walking towards my bay. As I got a bit-by-bit glimpse of her, I felt that an angel had come down from heaven.
I had to pinch myself to believe that someone could be so beautiful.
I told my friend about her and even he agreed that she was very pretty. I was eager to talk to her but she was in a different process, so I could not find a direct reason to speak to her. After a few days, I started hanging out with some of my colleagues and we formed a group. Luckily, the girl I liked was a friend of one of my group mates. I got her number from the friend and wanted to talk to her, but I had no answer to give if she asked me from where I’d got her number.
I discovered that she was a fan of horror films, so I researched the best horror movies and saved all the names. When I saw her asking one of my friends to help her with recommendations of horror movie names, I jumped in and told her that I had a list of names that I could WhatsApp her.
She gave me her number and now, I officially had it. I was so happy but my happiness was short-lived. I learned that she was getting engaged and would be married soon.
I was disappointed and stopped thinking about her because I knew that nothing could happen between us.
Also, she was from a different religion, so we definitely didn’t have any future together. I quit thinking about her but we remained friends. I became a stone-hearted person and refused to react to any emotion like care, love or affection even though my friends expected it from me in certain situations.
I did not want anyone to know that I had a crush on her.
Our group still spent time together and we would often go out during breaks and have lunch and dinner together. Things were going on as usual when suddenly, I discovered that her engagement had broken, as the guy wanted to go abroad for studies. She was going through a bad phase. I kept my ego aside and took care of her, made her smile and feel extra special.
All the emotions that I had suppressed came rushing back and I fell head over heels in love with her.
My friend kept teasing me that I had feelings for her though I refused to accept it. I ignored him and claimed that we were just good friends and nothing could happen between us. Ultimately, I gave up and confessed to him that I was in love with her.
Meanwhile, the girl and I became close. We spent a lot of time together and shared everything with each other. There was no morning, afternoon or night that would pass without a text to each other.
This went on for a while and finally, I insisted that we stop lying to each other and confess our love.
She agreed that she had feelings for me. I felt like I’d won half the battle and I was so happy. We started dating each other and spent every day together. We could not live without each other. On the weekends, I would give any excuse to get out of my home and catch a glimpse of her. She was willing to marry me right away, as she could not stay alone any longer.
I made her understand that convincing our families would take some time since no one would agree to an inter-caste marriage.
She was ready to leave her family for me. But I stopped her from taking such a drastic step, as it would be wrong to leave them. I suggested that we get married in court and then convince everyone to accept our marriage. For the next two months, everything went smoothly and I looked forward to marrying her.
Then one day, she saw a random guy in the office cafeteria and started telling everyone that she found him cute. She began complimenting him every day in front of me. She tried to make me jealous of her other guy friends too.
But it didn’t bother me because complimenting someone or hanging out with them was not a bad thing.
When she asked me why I never felt jealous of the other guys, I simply told her that everyone has friends and her friends did not make me feel jealous.
One night, all of us planned to meet for dinner. When I reached the restaurant, I saw her at the table with the guy she always complimented. He was sitting beside her and talking to everyone while I had no clue that he was joining us for dinner. She was trying to be funny and impress him with her jokes. I felt that something was fishy but I didn’t tell her anything.
I never liked that guy; I don’t know the reason but my gut always said that he was not a nice guy.
A few days later, the guy joined our office group even though I’d requested my friends not to include him. However, I stayed calm. Days passed by and my girlfriend and the guy became closer. I would always find them giggling together and they would often go out alone at night, as he stayed near her house. I couldn’t take it any longer and confronted her.
I asked her if she liked him because if she did, I was willing to take a step back.
She denied it saying that they were just good friends and she didn’t like him romantically. However, I did not believe her, as I knew that she was lying. Soon, we started having arguments over silly reasons. No one in our group knew that we were in a relationship except for my friend who always supported me. My girlfriend would initiate fights with my friend and me and make us look like villains.
As time passed, they started romancing openly and thought that no one noticed it. Slowly, our group fell apart and by the end, it was only my girlfriend, the other guy and I who hung out together and went for dinners after work.
I knew everything that was happening between them yet I wanted to see to what extent she'd lie to me.
They would romance in front of me whenever we went out. Seeing them together would make me cry from within but I never said anything to them.
They even planned a trip to Pondicherry and invited me but I could not go because of my own reasons. So they went without me and spent a few days with their other friends. Later, I discovered that they had a physical relationship during the trip! I accidentally got to know this truth after they returned.
The worst part was that I still loved her and I struggled to get her back for almost a year.
But she started making excuses that her parents would never agree to our relationship and she couldn’t leave them for me. She said things were getting worse and she broke up with me. However, I still loved her madly and deeply. So, I decided to try for one last time. I gave her a ring and proposed to her on her birthday.
She was happy and emotional because no one had ever made her feel so special. I finally saw a ray of hope but it was short-lived. Just two days later, she went back to her normal behaviour and continued her romance with him.
The worst part was that the guy knew that we were in a relationship, yet he continued being a jerk!
I was never jealous of anyone but this girl changed me as a person. I was so jealous of the other guy; I was so mad and angry that I was unable to focus on other things.
This affected my job and my other friends noticed that I had changed from a blooming flower to a dead one.
My scores went low and my performance kept going down. I became a living ghost! Finally, I decided to let go of all my emotions and started hating her, wishing that she would go away from my life. But I realized that it was not possible. I had to act like a friend to her because no one in the office knew about our relationship. Eventually, everyone realized that something was fishy between us.
When they got to know, I thought that I was finally free. But this girl was not ready to leave me.
She would find excuses to meet me every day. When she finally left the job, I felt a huge sense of relief. I went back to being the stone-hearted jacka** in office, as I did not want anyone to come close to me. I was broken, alone and sad. I cried every day, even after she left.
I was mad at myself because of the failure of our relationship.
Months passed and I was still a jerk till I found a new group of friends who pulled me out of this situation and made me a good person. I am living a good life now. I am enjoying my job. I am single and happy.
This experience was the biggest lesson of my life, which taught me a lot. It made me stronger than I ever was.
I forgave her for what she did but I never spoke to her again. I did not want to look back at the past.
Everything that happened was for the best because who knows how my life would have been had I married her (it would have been hell!).
I am thankful that I am safe and away from her.