I Have A Family, But Still Think Of Him As More Than Just A 'Friend'

Anonymous Anonymous in Dirty Picture on 27 February, 2018

I got inspired to type this, after reading the real-time experiences of many others. I am just torn inside and thought that typing my experience down will help me become calm.

I got married to my boyfriend, post just six months of interaction.

It was the most extreme risk I took in my life. He is from the north, I'm from the south and our interactions began through social media. It was only after many a great discussion that my family agreed to our marriage and his family accepted me as well, as I was a reputed official at my job even though I was a south Indian.
It was like a dream come true and was surely inspirational for lovers everywhere.
Slowly, our family grew bigger with the birth of our two beautiful young children and my hubby being very supportive was great. Now, one must be pondering, as to where is the plot twist? The years flew by, we entered our 12th year of marriage and I started getting bored, as my hubby used to be happy with his online job and friends, whereas I was busy with the daily boring mundane routine, at both work and home.

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I lost my charm in life.

I was not that into online friendships as I was dedicated to my family and never wanted to part my love and time with anyone else. One day, I got a friend request from a charming person, which then completely changed me.I was reluctant to accept, but he was persistent and kept on trying. One day, after going through his high-quality profile, I finally accepted his request to connect. I had been wanting a friend very badly and he changed my life magically with his passion.

A new energy had transformed me into a lover again.

My mundane boring days had changed to shining ones. I got addicted to him slowly. He started flirting with me, introduced me to his wife as a friend and had me meet her. I was enjoying his entry into my life, but at the same time, never wanted to cheat my hubby.

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My friend wanted me to be his partner in love.

He was frank enough, to tell me that we will not run away from our families. But, he wanted me seriously. I don't know whether it was his love or just my lust, but I started dreaming about him and lost all my interest in my family. We met directly twice when he brought his family to my place.
Once, he asked me to meet him and spend some days with him, since he was missing me. Which, I couldn't fulfil, due to my family commitments. I think it brought distance between us. He felt that I didn't love him, the way he loved me. One day, he messaged me that I'm 'sickening and should just f***off'.

I think he got fed up of my love without any benefits.

He thought that us having sex was going to connect us more. Slowly, he started drawing back all the attention he had given me. I kept waiting for his responses and phone calls, but they were all went unanswered or unnoticed for many days. He gave me excuses such that he was too busy with work or his kid needed his attention more.

Slowly, I got the feeling of losing that special someone from my life.
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It brought me tears and broke me internally. I realized that I too wanted him in my life, as much he had asked me to be in his. I thank him for lifting me in many ways from the boring life I was leading. But, I can't tolerate his silence, it's breaking me internally...

What can I do now?
Editor's Note:

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