I Didn't Marry My Boyfriend Because I Loved Him, I Married Him Because I Felt Guilty
I loved him madly but that is not the reason why I married him.
I was 19 and I had recently graduated from college. Since I didn't want to study further, I started looking for jobs. At the same time, I joined a professional computer course. That's where I met him.
He was only there to kill time and like everybody does, we started talking casually. Soon, somehow really soon, we became close friends. A few months down the line, he proposed to me and I accepted his love for me. It seemed natural enough. Not long after, he had to return to his hometown. Everything was good until then. He promised that he would come back for me and asked me to wait.
Days passed by and soon turned into months. Months went by too, and I didn't hear from him at all. I would helplessly cry. During the day, my job would distract me just enough, and at night, it would be agony again. I remember calling the number he had given me over and over again. It was always out of reach. I lost all hopes.
After seven silent months, he called me out of the blue. I was happy and angry and relieved. But he said that he loved me and apologized for disappearing. I was blinded by my love. I forgave him and met him again.
We had sex that day. I don't even know why I agreed to it. Maybe I wanted to console myself because he was back after so long, maybe I was afraid that he might leave me again. Soon afterwards, he asked my parents for my hand in marriage. But it was my parents who rejected him. They asked me to forget about him.
I had two options that day- I could either leave him and be the good daughter to my loving parents, or I could marry him against my parents' wishes and earn their resentment forever.
I married him against my family's wishes. I took that extreme step because I couldn't leave him or perhaps, because I was too scared that I had already had sex with him. Fear always does this to me.