I hail from an orthodox South Indian family. I grew up with a "one man-one woman" policy in my mind.

I wasn't very open-minded about dating different people or break-ups.

There was a guy who was a family friend (They belonged to the same caste as us, which made my parents like them even more). Right from childhood, we would play together when we would go to family events and vacations together.

But when we became adolescents, his behavior towards me started changing.

I was an immature girl almost until I reached college, which I still regret. He was 3 years older than me and was in college by the time I entered standard 11.

It was after one of our meetings at a family dinner that things changed. My life went through several twists and turns.

Apparently that night, he noticed how "beautiful" and "hot" I was.

Up until then, we rarely texted each other. But after that night, his ways of texting became very different.

Here I’d like to tell you a little about the backstory from my side. I liked him! I knew him from when we were 6-year-olds, he was good-looking, and my parents loved him and praised him all the time.

The teenage me had a crush on him!

So when he started flirting, I was enjoying it, at first. Slowly, his talks started getting out of control. Within just two days, he was asking me questions like "What is your size?", "What coloured inners are you wearing right now?"

Even though I liked him, these questions obviously made me uncomfortable.

But I was very bad at confrontations. There were two other reasons for this, one that I liked him, and the inner me had a small hope that we could become a couple in the future.

And secondly, his family was very close to mine, so if I opposed or fought with him, things would get ugly for both the families. So, I tried politely avoiding any such talks but nothing worked.

My age, my ignorance and my crush on him made me bear his sick talk.

Over time, I even started responding to his needs. I still wonder how could I have been so ignorant? I was also weak in sex lessons until I was 19 (Yes, I was that bad). And that worked as an advantage for him. He knew my weakness and started using it for his pleasure.

Years later, I realized that we were actually sexting back then.

At that time, all I knew was that he was asking me questions and I was answering them. I didn't know the double meaning they had, the kind of impact they created or whether it was some kind of abuse.

Whenever he felt horny, he would ping me and start a sex conversation. Some days, there were questions like "Are you masturbating?", "Do you feel something hard when I hug you?” I didn't understand the meaning of these questions then but regret them every single day now.

However, it was those questions that made me curious and I started researching about them. That is when I understood that he was using me as a virtual sex toy!

Thank God for all the times I said 'No' when he begged for video calls and pictures.

Soon I also found that I wasn't the only one he was fooling with. When I confronted him, all he could say was, "Yes, I knew you had no idea about these things and that you had a crush on me. I was just having fun with you. You will get a nice guy.”

I didn't know how to react but I knew it was the last time that I’d ever speak to him.

I cried for days to get over all that had happened and when I was done, I was done with guys. All this happened within a span of 5 months but it made me extremely scared of men and conscious of myself.

My dressing style changed, I stopped talking to men for a long time and I didn't make any new guy friends in the first two years of college.

But the magic happened when I met the love of my life. I told him everything else about my past but couldn't gather the courage to share my darkest secret.

I just told him that I had a crush on a guy. However, eventually, I ended up telling him everything when we went on a picnic with that f****r's family. The pressure of meeting them made me flip out!

My fiancé was furious with my reaction and demanded that I tell him everything for him to actually understand what I was going through.

Once I confessed, he didn't react at all. The only reaction he had was rage against that idiot. I was relieved that he could understand what I went through.

But destiny is a b**ch! We keep facing back-to-back situations where I have to meet him and his family, not to forget his wife!

He is normal but every time I look at him, all I can think about are the times that I was fooled and used by him.

With my fiancé by my side, I find it easier to handle my guilt and emotions now. But I fear that the day when our families get to know about everything that happened between us is not far away!

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