It's a painful feeling when you want to be a mom and you can't conceive. The whole world looks at you differently when you're married and you don't have a baby. It feels like all of them want to know why you don't have a baby.
In that moment, you're forced to question yourself. Is it my fault that I can't conceive? Is it my mistake?
I went through the most painful tests — internal sonographies, many kinds of checkups, my hubby did the same. Well, he would have also been treated if he had any problems but my doctor said, "There is no complication, you just have a polycystic ovary, nothing else." My husband was perfectly alright according to the doctor as "he is a perfect man with a perfect sperm count and ability to make me pregnant".
Now, as I was the culprit who couldn't conceive, I had to go through treatments, take oral tablets, vaginal tablets, injections. I had to also make love to my husband after 10-16 days post my periods. I did everything as per my doctor's instructions but my periods got delayed this one time when my mother-in-law got excited but there were no signs of pregnancy, we even took the pregnancy test.
I was completely broken seeing that single line, I really wished to have a baby. I know it sounds absurd but whenever I got to know about anyone else's pregnancy, I used to start crying. I felt incomplete. I really didn't know the root cause of my infertility.
After all my treatments I came to my mother's place where I got the time to recollect my thoughts about whatever was happening. This is when I realised a few that I had never brought up with my husband. After a fight with my husband, I decided to end my relationship with him. I told him I was being mentally tortured by a dominating sister-in-law and sometimes by my mother-in-law. I put a condition in front of him. I told him we should live separately, in another house or I would like to divorce him. I was head strong in that moment and my husband realised that.
As a result, we shifted to his old paternal house and the miracle happened, I got pregnant just after two months. I was so happy.
Our daughter is three and a half years old now. I was an idiot that I never realised that a tension-free atmosphere is crucial for conceiving. I went through such painful treatments that made no difference to my fertility or health.
A peaceful house, a positive atmosphere helped me become a mother finally. I have such a lovely daughter and a perfect man as my husband who are the biggest strengths in my life.