I am with a guy who is so opposite my definition of a dream man. But I am very happy and very satisfied with my life right now. Why? I sat this morning and pondered upon a few questions. How am I happy with the guy who is so different from what I wanted? Is it sustainable in the long run? I’ll tell you my observations and thoughts: Us girls; at least I was, inspired and ruled my Bollywood, movies and TV serials around us.

The same way guys are inspired by porn when it comes to sex.

Our lives revolve around the imaginative Bollywood world. Right from how we should look, what we should wear, how slim we should get, how to get attention and how much your dream man must pamper you. I actually believed in the scenes where a girl will call her lover and he would rush into her arms.

My guy has made me think about this pampering and the practicality of the situation. It isn’t like he won’t do things for me. He will do what is absolutely essential for me and what he feels like doing.

It became imperative for me to come out of my dreamland. After all, what is love for me might not be love for him. I cannot push a person to express himself in ‘My way’.

I have learnt a few things and I would like to share the same with you all.

Find love in the way he wants to love you. Don’t force your way on him. We all know some things are important. The next time, you want to tell something, just communicate. It is as simple as that.

I was a person who used to be dependent upon the other person for my needs. To make a small stupid IVR call for me, to spend all nights with me, to understand all my views. Well, is it really who we would call ‘independent’ woman? It became essential for me to have an individual life and stop asking my guy for every other thing.

The relationship pushed me a lot to do this. It was a practical and mature thing to do as well. We all need that space to realise a few things in life. It is very important to find your own life. It is also very crucial to take care of everything separately. Take care of your mother’s needs. But also, don’t forget about your ambitions and dreams. Take care of your spouse but don’t forget to spend time on yourself.

I was so used to getting things done my way and to be pampered the way I wanted, that I absolutely forgot to reciprocate. This guy asked me to do things for him. Now everything works mutually between us.

We all know that adulthood is not an age of unconditional love. You give and take. You need to understand what the other person wants.

Take some time out and ponder upon things that he wants. Not just keep cribbing about how much we work at our office and house. After all, even a man sacrifices a lot of things to make a relationship fruitful.

Understand what he does and what he wants in return. It is absolutely necessary to give.

I always tell my guy how much stability he brings into my life. He has taken me out of the unending romanticism and pampering. I am not quoting that babying is bad, but rigid pampering is bad. We all need to find love in small things that the other person does for us. Don’t forget to do those small things for him too.

Be confident about yourself and be happy with what you are. After all, confidence is sexier than a bikini!

Share This Story