Tell me, what you think is wrong with my boyfriend. Things were great, but those obviously don’t last forever.

We were always close. He’d share everything with me. I guess that’s how most relationships work. We trust our significant other with our lives and share our craziest secrets and insecurities with them. Well, at least, that’s what he used to do. He told me everything: things that made him happy, sad, everything.

He believed that I’d be able to handle everything. No matter what, because I love him. And I listened. I believed in him, despite all his flaws. Because that’s what love is all about, loving and understanding someone, their all and everything.

But is it okay to say, I’m saturated. I can’t stand the things that he does anymore and what he tells me.

I feel emotionally abused when it comes to the things he tells me. When I do speak about it, he thinks that I’m freaking out over ‘casual’ matters.

Casual, like, how can it not matter to me when you say things about me, to me? How can it not matter to me, when you tell me that you’re sleeping with someone else? How can it not matter to me, that you had an affair with someone who was married and was going to leave her husband and two children for you? 

He shared everything with me. Everything including how he’s met someone else. How she doesn’t mean anything to him, but that they make out every once in a while, because she insists that they should. He tells me everything and expects me to be alright with this because it’s 2017 and I’m the one he loves.

I’m trying to make sense of this. The only thing that he’s sure of, is that he’s honest. And I’m wondering how that’s okay? Before I could make sense of all this, he called to tell me that he slept with her. His logic: he slept with the married woman, because it made things better between us. What?!

Later on, he began to share details with me. He told me how she cared for him now and how they were still having sex. I’d had enough. I told him to leave me alone. That I couldn’t stand to hear any more of this.

He keeps telling me that I shouldn’t bother myself with all these things and that I should understand that this is making our bond stronger.  Now he tells me that he can’t leave me. No matter what he does, he can’t let me go. He isn’t even guilty, he only wants me.

I love him with all my heart, but being with him is only hurting me. It’s too extreme. I break down whenever we speak with each other and I’m tired of being the girl whose always there, but without my feelings being taken into consideration.

I may not be the best girlfriend, but I can’t lose my self-respect, dignity or morals anymore. I am sorry that I love him, and that I will still keep loving him, but I can’t be with him anymore. He’s my apocalypse.

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