Now That I'm A Bahu Too, My Husband Doesn't Really Care If My Career Dies Its Death

Anonymous Anonymous in Culture Shock on 19 September, 2018

Are we living in a society that is actually leading towards feminism or is it just a gimmick?

Whatever we may portray on the outside, inside our homes men still rule the makeup of Indian families.

We like to call ourselves modern, or maybe it is just the pretentious and so-called self-satisfactory lives we have started living. We say we are open to an equal society for men and women, and we’re all cheers for independent women making a mark. But when it comes to the comfort of our homes, our heads turn towards the men of the family for making even the smallest decisions. I wasn’t complaining until I became a daughter-in-law. I am an independent woman doing fairly well in my career, making my own decisions. I had been raised by the most loving and chilled out parents. I owe all my success to them. Then came the life changer, I got married.

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Mine was not arranged, but love marriage, where the love seems to be fading away with my husband’s constant juggle between his parents’ happiness and mine. I feel sorry for him, I really do!

But in the midst of all this, am I expected to lose my personality to comfort my husband and his parents? All the hard work I put and the smarter I became, was made to put down the drain. I read a recent survey which said divorce rates in India have become exceedingly high in the last few years. I bet we all will know the reason behind this is if we come to understand the real sense of the term “in-laws”.

I am a practical person, and have always been, which is why I need to understand the logic behind every small thing we say or do.

So tell me how come, your husband’s parents can be matched up to your actual parents? I can't wrap my head around calling two strange people mom and dad like my actual mom and dad, who mean the world to me. I have all the respect for them but how does that even make sense?

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Also, if to keep them happy, I can casually call them mom and dad, what do I do with all the burden it brings along, and all the expectations they suddenly have with me?

I am an independent girl, who dreamt of her career way more than having the perfect wedding. My husband now, but my boyfriend before marriage, was proud of this quality of mine then. Now he only looks at me proudly when I buy some furniture for our house and do not bother him with money.

Editor's Note:

Share this story because it needs to be heard. Stories like this make you wonder, who do we really have besides ourselves?