Indian Society Marriage orthodoxy single woman

My Life Is Miserable Because All My Friends Are Married And I Still Haven't Found A Life Partner.

( words)
*For representational purpose only.

They say marriages are made in heaven. If this is true, then why is our society so interested in match fixing? If you don't get married by a certain age, why do people make your life and your family's life miserable by repeatedly bothering you with the same question, "So, when are you planning to get married?"

I met many men through the arranged marriage set-up and while I rejected a few of them, I was rejected by some of them too. But now that I have passed a certain age, people have started forming assumptions of their own for why I may not be married yet - from an affair to family problems, I've been accused of them all.

But, are these people who're talking behind my back, really concerned about me? I don't think so. I am just another girl they can gossip about.

To make matters worse, most of my friends are married, so all eyes are on me. I just can't understand what have I done so wrong to be treated like a prisoner by everyone I meet, to be questioned publicly if I am in love, if something went wrong with me in the past or if my family is facing some issue.

Why can't people just stop interrogating me and my family and mind their own business? My marriage is my personal matter. Who has given them the right to gossip about me, to make my parents feel low and to make me feel guilty about rejecting a guy that I can't imagine spending my life with? Why are people trying to convince me to 'adjust' with a guy I don't like? Why are they asking me to compromise? Why should I compromise? I am an educated and independent girl and I have the right to choose a guy who will support me in fulfilling all my dreams.

In many cases like mine, the girl's parents too ask her to adjust and compromise, under the pressure of the society, as if she will remain unmarried if she rejects some rishta. Thank god, though, my parents are broad-minded and have never forced their will upon me.

But the society doesn't leave the girl alone, ever. Once she is married, the questions change. People now start asking her for a child. If something goes wrong in her marriage, the same people raise a different set of questions at her and her family, this time.

In a way, though, society does teach us a lot many things. It teaches us how to answer stupid questions about our personal life that random people throw at us, it teaches us how to stay strong when people say a lot of unnecessary things about us behind our back, it teaches us how to stay positive even when people are hell bent on making our life unhappy.

We say we are moving towards a new era with the changing technology, but are people moving at the same speed too? People in the Indian society, at least, still believe in and follow the norms of the past century and are not ready for a mental and social change. Today, girls are shining in every profession, be it education, science, defence or management. But, sadly, when it comes to their marriage, they have to deal with the regressive mindset of the society that demands them to put their career on the backseat for a domestic life.

If we say we really want to grow or we really want our daughters to touch the sky, then we need to stop paying heed to the society. In fact, we need to stop questioning other families and their daughters. It has to start with us. 

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