I belong to a conservative brahmin family from Rajasthan. I am well educated and have a job that pays me well. But in our culture, one can’t even imagine a girl not getting married. So, as my age started advancing, my parents started to get more worried about my marriage.

Even some of my good friends started questioning me, “There seems to be nothing wrong with you, how come you are not getting married?"

Some even said, “It’s probably because you have high expectations.”

Somewhere deep down inside, I was also fascinated by the idea of getting married, being in love and being pampered. Finally, we reached a stage wherein we got so desperate that we just went for a guy we didn’t like much.

During the courtship period, the families as well as the two of us had several disagreements. They won all the arguments and did things their way. It was scary for me but I didn’t say a word because I had to protect my family.

We got married on 15th February, 2014 and it seemed like a dream wedding initially but the way I was treated during my honeymoon immediately made me regret it. He shouted at me for no reason and called me dumb every now and then. I wasn’t allowed to have an opinion. If I did voice my opinion, I was told I was stubborn.

Just like anybody would, even I wanted to go for drives visit places, watch movies and just have fun but he wanted to have kids immediately and so I conceived right after marriage. He was so mad at me for being shocked about my pregnancy. I thought sooner or later he will realise his mistake but that never happened, he never felt guilty, never apologised.

First year went by somehow. I had my daughter, the child was active but very cranky. It was hard for me to work and manage her at the same time, I would look for excuses to go to my parents house.

What did I gain out of this marriage? No companionship, lost my friends, love the love and warmth of staying with parents, started lagging behind workwise too. I only wanted a simple marriage; with a husband who understood me but he only shouts at me and humiliates me.

My heart does not have any feelings for him but it also does not have the courage to walk out of this marriage. In the current scenario, it’s been 3 weeks and my husband hasn’t spoken to me. He does not sleep in the same room as me and doesn’t eat the food I cook. When I told my dad about this situation, he yelled at my husband but my husband manipulated the situation and now wants my father to apologise to him. How is that fair? What should I do?

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