Dear Parents, Is Society More Important Than Your Child's Happiness?

Anonymous Anonymous in Culture Shock on 23 January, 2018

 

‘Marriage’, a word that haunts us right from the time we graduate and get a job or sometimes even when we start dating the person of our choice.

Marriage is said to be a union of two people who love each other and feel comfortable being together.
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They are ready to take the plunge with the faith that they can grow together through their struggles, happiness, and sorrows. But society ruins it all.

It's entirely ok if the family arranges the marriage because the guy needs to be good, right? Forget about love or any other feelings. He just needs to fit into societal definitions.

If by chance, you already have a chosen one, well, how dare you!? Who permitted you to do that?

As if choosing a partner or loving someone is a thing that you need to seek permission for!
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We need to stop believing that a person from our caste, religion or region is going to be the best choice as a partner. We have plenty of examples of horrible spouses in arranged marriages and also know of cross-cultural marriages falling apart.

They fall apart because of their problems, not because they were Hindu, Christian, North Indian or even South Indian.

If we go by societal definitions, no culture or religion will be able to make good husbands and wives!

We need to stop judging people by their backgrounds and assess them for who they are as people. What is the need to conform to conventions and please the people of this so-called society?

Why can't parents try and focus on the most important thing; their child’s happiness.
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We know that our parents want the best for us but aren't we capable enough to choose who and what is right for us? This is what I'd like to tell them.

Dear Parents,

No matter what you do, the society will never be pleased.

Even if you load them with carats of gold as return gifts or feed them an extensive non-vegetarian buffet, they will still find a reason to disapprove all your actions.

This society, these people are not going to be around in your moments of happiness and sadness.

Tell me, were they there when your kids were not well, or when they met with an accident or when you were not well? Forget illness or crisis, were they there when you or your kids achieved something?

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I am sure most of them were standing in a corner, mocking you or your kids.

Think about what is best for your child, not for you, not for your social status and most of all, not for society. It is a request!

Getting us married to a partner of your choice can make us unhappy and suffer emotional trauma, get a divorce, pack our bags and come running back home. What will the society say then?

I am sure they will be happy because you married us off to the person of your choice!

 

Editor's Note:

Share this story because it is high time that we let go off orthodox societal norms that are making people unhappy.