Everyone has at least one crush in their lifetime. If not, then they are blessed souls. And ya finally I had a crush on a man who worked with me at my workplace. And I kept it to myself. As days passed, I came to know that my friend also had a crush on him but she was already committed. However, she didn't sit idle like me, she started talking to him and also hung out with him often.

She maintained a balance between spending time with her boyfriend and the crush. But he treated her as a good friend. Through her, I got to know that he was already committed, and so I blocked my feelings over him.

After a week she said that the girl he loved broke up with him since her parents didn't agree for their marriage. Following this incident, he became sad, he used to cry all the time. I couldn't see him crying. This breakup brought them (my friend and my crush) closer. She almost forgot about her boyfriend.

After a few days he got my number from my friend and started texting me. But I was not that excited as I was completely over him. Days passed and finally we were into each other, it felt like we couldn't live without each other.

Finally my dream day. The guy, who was my crush, who was my everything, proposed to me. It was not like a dramatic proposal. We were sitting in a restaurant and while eating he said, "I love a girl in our office, and I guess you know who she is." I just smiled and that was my my way of saying "Yes".

I felt like I was on top of the world. The time we spent together, I couldn't express that in words. Almost everyone in our workplace was eager to know what was up between us between us. And the friend because of whom we both started dating, fought with him after this news reached her.

She cursed us, spread rumors about us. She even threatened him to break up with me or else she'd commit suicide. But he didn't give up and he said clearly that, "You are my friend, she is my lover. I can't give up her." He had a soft corner for her because she was there with him when he was going through a heartbreak. 

Those were the dark days in our relationship, where I fought each and everyday to save my love from my friend.

One day we three had a fight at a public place where she saw both of us together. He asked me to leave in order to manage her but I didn't. I didn't want to leave my lover alone in that situation. She asked him to choose one of us. In the fear of her doing something crazy, he took her name. Hearing that, my heart sank and I walked of.

I didn't talk to him after that. The following day he called me and said "let's breakup". The words that I didn't want to hear. I cried and a few minutes later I said, "yes let's breakup". I thought he didn't deserve me. I just switched off my mobile and went to my hometown for 15 days. He was dialing my number continuously for 15 days.

On the fifteenth day, I switched on my phone and I saw the number of missed calls with a message saying, "I'm dying here without you." I couldn't stop myself from running to him.

And the friend who later became my enemy got a transfer. We were back to our lovely days. This time we were inseparable. I felt like he couldn't live a second without me. Those days were so special, each day was a gift to me.

Finally, I reached the stage that every girl goes through. My parents started forcing me to get married. I opened up in front of them about my love. And there was a big NO that we already knew about, as we both belong to different religions.

After a lot of emotional blackmails, I said "yes" to marriage. A decision I regret each and every second. Within a few days I was engaged. I couldn't face my lover after that. We both were crying every day. He even said let's elope. But I couldn't. I was afraid that my parents will do something. And then I decided to resign before my marriage.

Only then could my lover lead a peaceful life I felt. Finally I resigned. I couldn't leave him. I can't even live a day without seeing him. My marriage day is very close now. I called him and cried asking him to meet me. He said NO.

After a lot of struggle I made him meet me. I bought gifts for his siblings. He said he will never get married, and that he can't even think about another girl. From the day of my engagement till a month before my marriage this was the statement he used to repeat. I believed his words.

Exactly a month before my marriage he called me and asked "this is the last time I'm saying let's elope." I said "No, with much difficulty my parents have arranged this marriage, I can't leave them. They will be left miserable." He started cursing me and after an argument we both decided not to talk anymore. But still I was waiting for his calls. Four days later I got a message from him.

Seeing a notification from him, with much excitement, I opened the message, it said, "I'm getting married within three months, the marriage is fixed." That is when I realised he no more belongs to me. I called him and cried. Following this he stopped calling. After a week, I called him and asked him to marry me. To this he said "No, sorry I can't."

I just hate those four days that made him forget me. Because of him I didn't even spend time with my fiance, and finally it was my marriage day. I saw the knot and told myself, "Cool! Everything is over, you can't get back to your past, he's your future, concentrate on him."

My husband and I started getting to know each other better. I thought he will be my soulmate, he will wash away my sorrows caused by my ex lover. But sadly, he never even thought of me as a living thing. He's so selfish. All he does is act in front of others. So that everyone says how lucky I am. It's just three months into our marriage. But I feel like I'm in my eighties or nineties. He goes to office, shouts at me for no reason, and sleeps. This is what has happened for these three months in my life.

These things are making me to regret my decision, where I chose my parents instead of choosing my lover. 

I can't forget him. I miss him. I need him. My lover. Only he can wipe away my tears. But within a month, he's going to get married, I won't even have the right to think about him. 

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