My Husband Calls Me A Sex Addict Because I Wanted Intimacy

Anonymous Anonymous in Your Story on 23 November, 2017

I am the only child of my parents who brought me up to be a self-respecting girl. After my Bachelors, I started working and soon started getting marriage proposals. I am 25 now and married.

We had 5 months between the engagement and marriage, however, my fiancé (now husband) never showed an interest in meeting me or going out.

We only chatted over WhatsApp and had a few occasional phone calls. I thought that he must be shy, so I let it go.

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Later, when it was time to look for honeymoon options, he asked me to select the places. But when I suggested a few places, he did not agree to any of them giving some reason or the other. It was his mom who insisted that he take me on a honeymoon so that he wasn’t blamed in the future for not showing interest.

Finally, we went to Ooty but there, my husband insisted on vacating the hotel on the morning of the departure itself. We ended up waiting at the bus stand from 5 in the evening till our bus to Bangalore arrived at 11 pm.

We are living together but there is no physical intimacy between us. When I ask him for the reason, he calls me a sex addict!

I have a regular shift at work while he does the night shift and comes home only around 3.30 in the morning. When I tell him to spend time with me over the weekend, he initiates unnecessary fights and goes to his friend’s house, leaving me alone on the weekends as well.

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If I question him, he lies that he needs to discuss his career with his friends, but they just play games and have fun.

My father-in-law comes to visit us regularly because he buys philosophy books from Bangalore. He is also an indifferent and cruel person. During one of his visits, I was suffering from viral fever but he insisted that I make rotis for him. When I finally made them, he blamed me for making thick rotis that he was unable to eat.

He keeps lecturing me on how I should not have any desires in life. According to him, I should lead my life like a saint.

When my parents told my in-laws about the way my husband was treating me, my father-in-law accused me of being a person who needed luxuries and a posh life. But I come from a middle-class family and I’ve been brought up to understand when to expect what in life.

I am not allowed to keep a maid at home because they ask for a lot of money. So I do all the housework on my own and then travel 70 km to my workplace every day.

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I am unable to bear this loneliness where my husband has no time for me nor does he treat me well when we actually have time on the weekends.

Yet, I have always been understanding towards him and his situations. When he starts an argument, I am not allowed to speak nor do I have the right to get angry with him. I’m expected to keep listening to his words but never express my feelings or the hurt that I am going through.

I feel completely useless in his life. I am just a machine to manage his house without getting the respect and rights that a wife deserves.

I have also started developing various health issues, which I never had before marriage. I am always left alone at home to suffer while he goes out with his friends. When his friends ask him about me, he lies that I am unwell so that I don’t get to know that he is out with them.

I actually made efforts to be friends with my husband's friends but he started getting insecure that his true colors would come out, so he makes sure that I never meet them.

I feel like committing suicide because of all these problems in my married life. I pray that no one has to go through such horrible situations in their lives.

Editor's Note:

Several women are stuck in loveless marriages where they are not respected or cared for. Share this story because this young girl and many others out there need our support and strength.