Is sex the only thing a boyfriend wants from his girl?

I know this topic is a tabooed one in India; married or not, no one should be discussing such a ‘sensitive’ topic. But honestly, I have a lot to say about it because I am a victim of this whole “ssh… don’t talk about sex!”

I’ve been with my boyfriend for over seven years now and he’s been trying to have sex with me in all this time, but I’ve managed to save myself for our marriage. But it’s honestly getting annoying now, to have to keep stopping him, to have to keep under control.

Suddenly, our dates aren’t about romantic dinners or long walks, but instead, they’re with us going from room to room, with him trying his best to get inside my pants.

When we bet in college, I was a happy-go-lucky girl and I wasn’t very keen on being in a relationship. But after a whole year of asking me out, I thought I should yes; he was sweet, but I also kind of felt bad for him.

Somewhere, I’m wondering why I did this, but I don’t think I could have imagined us to be where we are today.

In his head, we were “engaged” and he believed that it was his right to do as he wanted with my body because it was only his to touch as he pleased.

Of course, I kept saying no and would keep asking him to take me out on a real date, but he thought that as a couple in India, the only way we could really just be free with each other, was in a hotel room.

I agree, there were times when I just wanted to hug or even kiss him without worrying about people around us or judging us, but that wasn’t how it should be all the time!

At first, we did just that, we would talk, hold hands, sit comfortably and then spend hours just kissing. But he wanted more.

He would keep forcing himself on me. He didn’t care if I had a fever or if I had my periods. He wanted to be satisfied: and that meant, seeing me naked and touching parts of me that I didn’t want him to. I realized much later that I could have said no strongly, but I also didn’t want him to leave me. And it’s not like he didn’t care about me.

When we shifted to another city, looking for jobs, he would call me to check up on me, or so I thought. But all he wanted was for me to go to the bathroom and click a naked picture of myself because he was “thirsty”. I knew I should have ended things here, but it’s not that easy.

Four years into our relationship, I have a steady job and he’s still looking, but we’re in the same city so that’s all he needed.

He would pick me up from work, or from my house, never let me use public transport because he didn’t want anyone else to touch me even by mistake. And all he would do was take me to his friend’s room and try, all over again, to touch me forcefully.

He has just one answer, that we’re going to get married soon, so I should let him do as he pleases. But he doesn’t think or care about the emotional connect that we so clearly don’t have.

It’s been seven years now, I’m not sure how to end things with him or what I’d even say to him. I’m numb and for now, I’m not answering any of his phone calls. I don’t know what to do. 

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