I loved a man who was already committed and this is what I got in return. I was a girl who refused to believe in love 2 years ago, and I was the one who played with many hearts, never bothering to fix them up. But as everyone knows, "Karma is a b**ch," so it was finally time for my karma to hit me back.

I met a man, and I already knew that this would be nothing more than casual. We were very clear about it, especially because he was in a so-called committed relationship. But a few months down the line, I kept looking at him and seeing 'the one' instead. I wanted to spend my whole life with him.

So I did the only thing I could do. I sat him down, told him about my feelings, and proposed to him. But in return, he said that he loved his girlfriend and could never leave her.

I was okay with that because I didn't want to be the one to break them up and do any wrong by that girl. But it didn't stop me from loving him more and more.

A few months later, I asked him again. But this time I asked him to choose between her and me. He tried to make me understand that both of us were important to him. However, I was not convinced. All that time that I had spent with him made me possessive of him. I couldn't bear to share him with anyone else. I had to pressurize him. And to my surprise, he chose her.

I was devastated. I reacted really harshly to cover up my disappointment. I blamed him for everything, but I couldn't change his choice. I had lost him and I had lost myself.

When I finally calmed down, I called him again and asked me to support me for a few months so I could get over him and move away from his life. He was ready to do that for me. But I never got over him. It was impossible.

I had that relationship for a whole year and we would even live together during the weekends. We would make love, explore the city together, and I did everything I wanted to do with him. Anything that I would have done with my husband, I did with him. He had treated me just as preciously as I had treated him.

I couldn't bring myself to leave a man who had done so much for him. I couldn't think of being with anyone else but him. Finally, we decided to break up because his girlfriend wanted to come and live with him. I did leave him, but I knew he would never be able to live without me too. I had hoped that he would realize that sooner or later. But that time never came.

It's been three months now, and they're still living together. I don't know whether he misses me or not. I don't know if he thinks about me every time he does something with her, I don't know if he mentally compares us.

Every day, I cry and wonder what it is that lacked in my love. What is it that I didn't live up to? I had a year with him and I couldn't change his mind. Why?

I still love him. I still carry the hope deep inside me that he will come back for me one day.

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