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How It Really Feels To Leave The Wrong Guy For The Right Reasons

( words)
*For representational purpose only.

I was in a relationship for one and a half year and we shared a very good bond, we loved each other a lot but there was no understanding between us. You can say that the only thing that existed between us was love, nothing else. We never understood each other even though I was his first love he never seemed to understand me so much.

We would often fight; instead of being together we would often stay away from each other because of the fights. So after a fight about something he decided to break up with me. I agreed because I was done with the fighting, quarrelling, and being angry and sad. Soon after that, I signed up for this dating website named Tinder. I'm sure many of you know about it. After a day or two, I got a notification saying that a guy named 'Rohan' has swiped right. I opened his profile to see his photograph and instantly like him back. So basically we were a match!

Immediately I received a message from him and we started talking. He was very good looking, of course. Why would anyone instantly like him back if that wasn't the case? So yes, we started talking and I realised that he stays two blocks away and hence we exchanged numbers and decided to meet. I didn't hesitate because of the charming personality that he had.

So we started meeting every evening and I don't know what on earth made me instantly get obsessed with him. I couldn't stop thinking about him when I was away from him, I would always wait to meet him. I was going crazy about him. He would usually keep staring at me the way girls love being stared at. I wasn't in love; I don't know what was happening to me. I was obsessing over him.

I felt exactly how it feels when you fall in love but I knew that I wasn't.

I was simply crushing over him. I never wanted to kiss someone so bad, not even my boyfriend. I didn't know what to do about it. I spoke about to it to my best friend and she suggested me to be okay with what I feel because it happens.

I am one of those girls who thinks that letting a guy touch your body isn't right if there is no love between the two of them and for the situation that I was in, I was stunned with the way I was feeling. That wasn't me, I couldn't be like that. Even after knowing that, it would be very wrong to do anything as such that I had in my mind, I still couldn't stop wanting it. I knew he liked me and I liked him too but all I wanted was to be physically connected to him and not love. Trust me he wanted the same, he wasn't in love either. So after meeting regularly, he invited me to his place. Since he was alone, I agreed.

I hesitated at first knowing that something would take place between us but then I decided to control my feelings and go with the flow. Everything was going on perfectly and deep down I buried my temptation to kiss him. Two hours had passed and nothing happened. So I was sure about nothing happening anymore. I was glad! After spending enough time, I decided to leave as his parents were also their way home.

He hugged me while I was about to leave. I have never ever in my life loved a hug so much. We were so close to each other, our bodies were touching and I could feel the warmth. He kissed my head and then he moved to my lips. I didn't know what to do, even if I wanted to do something I couldn't as I was frozen because I wanted it too. I wanted his lips on mine more than anything on this planet.

He placed his lips on mine and we kissed. I was on cloud 9 and that felt so satisfying.

Everything was so good until he kneeled down and said, "I love you." It had just been a week since we started meeting and "I love you" just to get in my pants was very lame. He could've simply said he wanted me but “I love you?” Anyway, so we continued being friends and we kissed a few more times after that. I've never kissed someone with so much passion before. He was amazing and I still miss being with him since we are not in contact anymore. He tried to get in contact with me but it just doesn't feel right anymore.

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