Dear Ex, Because Of Your Darkness I Found Light In My Life

Anonymous Anonymous in Your Story on 17 February, 2018

Dear Ex,

This story traces long back to the time when we first met each other at tuition classes during our +2 days. I wasn't one of those girls who would hanker after boys or would long for a platonic relationship. I was different. I was innocent, and I never intended to go against the social customs of my middle-class family. Society is harsh on girls, and I knew that quite well. You approached my friends, maybe you were longing to know me, or just wanted to have a word with me. Days passed by, and some 'science projects' brought us closer. We were kids then! The feeling of butterflies in my tummy was new to me.

And slowly, I grew fond of it, and of course of you. Never did I think, this little step would leave a scar on me.
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Young and ignorant as I was, I accepted you knowing the fact that you were dating someone else. I believed that you truly loved me and that you were 'the one' for me. As time rolled on, you grew possessive and obsessed with me. Your anger would frighten me out of my wits. Yet, the thought of losing you made me hold on to you, tightly. I got rid of my male friends, and I had many of them. I avoided anything and everything that would make you angry. One fine day, you forcefully kissed me. I was just a 16-year-old girl, still covered in ignorance and innocence. I cried all night and was burning with fever. This went on or rather, grew with time. And one fine day, I remember having felt you forcing yourself on me. I was shattered, much more than you imagined I would be. Slowly, I withdrew myself from all the people I had around me. I began accepting this as a reality.

I began accepting and believing that all relationships were like mine, where the girl would be forced upon, disrespected, hurt, scarred, and used. And the guy would be the dominant 'man', doing everything to his heart's content.

I never spoke out, for the fear of losing you. Because I loved you. I got alienated from all my friends, and I waited for our +2 to end. Finally, it did. Then you moved far away for your further studies, while I prepared for my further studies at home. Slowly, I felt that you were drifting away. You would switch off your phone, and not answer my calls for days altogether. I would keep messaging you all day long, but you would never revert.

I got restless and would cry my heart out to my friends. My friends would always comfort me, and sometimes ask me to stop waiting around for you.
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They would say that you might have gotten involved with some other girl. But I was not convinced. I trusted you with all my heart, and I would tell my friends that you loved me and that you always would. Deep inside, a suspicion did arise. You spent months without talking to me. And one fine day, you wanted this to end. You no longer wanted me in your life. I accepted your decision, hoping that you would come back to me in no time. And you did. You were the sweetest person I knew. One fine day, a girl called me, she was calling me names and asked me to stay away from you. I was perplexed. And then you called me and asked me to stay away from you. You told me that you had been involved with her for quite a long time.

We had spent 3 years, and all those 3 years meant nothing to you. You ended it in just a few seconds. I was broken, and it did take me a long time to get over you.

But now, I am in a place much better than you are, and perhaps you may even envy me. A year more, and then I will have something added to my name - Doctor. And all through this time, I had someone who has been my best friend, my guide and my support. He has loved me and has held on to me, no matter what. Yes, you were the one who made me realize what love is. But, he is the one who taught me how to love a person. He accepts my past, and he has found ways and means for me to deal with it.

He respects me for who I am and loves me more than anyone else ever could.

He has been with me through thick and thin, through ups and downs, in sickness and health, in happiness and sorrow, and through success and failure. He has made me realize what I deserve and what my worth is. He loves me and trusts me beyond doubt, and he is still my best friend.

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Now I know, friendship and respect are much more important than anything else, in a relationship.

No matter how much, I write about him, it will never be sufficient. And do not make the mistake of thinking that I am comparing him to you. He cannot be compared to anyone. Every time I look at him, I feel proud of the fact that he loves me, and I love him. And he makes me feel loved, at every step of the way.

All I would like to say to you is thank you. Thank you for making me go through all the darkness. It is only after you have gone through the darkness, you find out what light is.

And now when I see him, I can see how much bright and illuminated my path ahead is. Thank you for everything. For I would have never found him if it wasn't for you. I have no regrets and no hard feelings. All I have is love for him.

With lots of gratitude, The girl whom you changed for good
Editor's Note:

Share this story because the writer leaves us with a beautiful thought, "It is only after you have gone through the darkness, you find out what light is."