My Husband Will Never Understand My Misery But I Love Him Too Much To Leave Him

Anonymous Anonymous in Single Women Bad Women on 5 July, 2018

I am a Delhi girl. I met my man while I was doing my CA article ship. I was a trainee and he was a senior in another team. I fell for him as soon as I got to know him.

He was very charming. All the women in the office would sit around him and gossip. He proposed to me on the day he left the office. I was already head over heels in love with him so I said, “Yes!”

We both belong to the same Hindu community. We dated for three and a half years but even then we still faced a lot of issues when we wanted to get married.

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I kept asking him to get married to me so finally, he asked his dad to meet my dad. That meeting turned out to be a disaster.

His father used very wrong words to describe my family and me. He insulted my dad but my parents kept quiet because they wanted me to be happy. He also said that my kundli is not okay.

He said I am a very bad person and I would destroy their happiness after we get married. But my man just kept his calm and stuck by me.

There were huge fights and we finally got married after facing a lot of challenges. I was really happy because my dream was coming true. I had always wanted to be with him. But my happiness lasted only for a few days. My mother-in-law said all wrong things about me to my husband.

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And I actually saw my husband, my lover and the person I loved the most change before my eyes. He did not even listen to my point of view.

I was so stressed that I was on the verge of depression. Me bas leti rehti thi aur roti rehti thi. No one would ask me if I wanted to eat. After a few days, I convinced my husband to allow me to go home because there was a festival around the corner.

I went home and talked to my mother. I also met one of my aunts.

She told me that all this was happening due to my karma. She said, “Maybe you have done something bad to your mother-in-law in your previous janam. Perhaps  all this is happening because of that.” She then asked me to do just one thing. She asked me to be so nice to my mother-in-law that she would have no reason to complain.

She asked me to treat her like God. She asked me to become her slave. She asked me to behave like this when I returned. She assured me that my husband would become normal too.
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Meanwhile, my husband was so pissed off at me that he was asking me to divorce him.

I now realized that I had two options. I could give up and lose out on the man I loved or I could do what my mom and aunt had suggested.

I decided to do the latter. I actually behaved like a servant in my in-laws’ joint family. I would cook food and do each and everything that my mother-in-law asked me to do. I would stand up when she told me to stand up.

I then actually saw my husband change. I could again see that lost love in his eyes.

The first four months of my married life were hell. But now I have accepted the fact that my mother-in-law is the senior most member of our family.

I know that without her nothing will move in this house – not even her son.
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She acts goody-goody in front of my husband so that my husband is convinced that I am wrong but I know what the reality it. She actually called all the relatives and told them that I am a very bad person. She even made her son sleep in her room so that he could be away from me. She continues to do all this despite all that I do for her.

Yet, I am still surviving and living here because I actually love my husband the most. I can’t leave him at any cost and I can’t blame him for my misery too because I know he will never understand what I am going through.
Editor's Note:

The harsh reality of life sinks in only after the initial euphoria of ‘love’ subsides. Maybe it takes us years to understand the essence of a marriage. Maybe marriage helps us to love ourselves. Maybe we then learn to love our loved ones completely. Maybe slowly, we then progress to accepting and respecting people whom we don’t really love. Maybe marriage is a beautiful journey of self-discovery. Let’s share this story and know what we are getting into before we get married.