I Quit My Job To Spend Time With My Husband: Now I'm A Full-Time Housewife And It Hurts

Anonymous Anonymous in Single Women Bad Women on 28 June, 2017

It was 31st of May in 2013, I was sitting with my group Head in his cabin. It was my exit interview after I resigned from my service 15 days ago. “So why do you want to quit?” he asked. All the previous conversations with him were very short and I always used to be at the listening end. But this time it was me who was doing the talking. I told him that I had recently gotten married. The 9 hours of job and 5 hours of commuting leaves me with no time for myself or my married life.

My partner was my priority and the fact that I wanted to spend most of my time with him and be by his side.

“So is this the only reason you want to put an end to your 7 years of career with a CMMI level 5 company?” he questioned. He definitely looked taken aback with my decision. “You know what you are doing, don’t you?” he asked again.  “Of course, sir”, I said determinedly. I had never been so sure about anything earlier.

He said he was proud that I chose to be happy in my personal life putting aside my corporate career.

“Not many people do that Pooja” he appreciated. So after he bid me all the best with my life, I left his cabin as the most content person. Life couldn’t seem simpler. No more office meant that I could be at the luxury of my home and do all the things that I couldn’t do earlier; travel, read, cook, relax and spend time with my loved ones. 

I woke up from my dream that didn’t last more than a month. Being at home wasn’t about luxury. It was about the household chores, playing the typical ‘bahu’ role which meant only waking up early and doing the entire ‘puja path’ that makes you a ‘sanskari bahu’.

I had to ask my in-laws before going anywhere. My husband had no time for me. His travels, his business and his lifestyle remained unchanged. We had a baby soon and life only revolved around my son and the household work. I still thought that it happens with all the new mothers and that it was okay. My toddler obviously needed all my time and attention. Days passed by and my partner started treating me like a housewife.

The toughest job of all the jobs that I have ever done in life is looked down upon in India.

Neighbours and relatives started asking me, “So beta, you don’t work anymore?” Damn it! Who said that I didn’t work? Now I was working 24/7 and it is a thankless job; not being paid for it and not being acknowledged for it. My husband returns home and acts tired because of his office work. What about me? Was I relaxing the whole day? Nowadays he even thinks that I don’t know much about the outside world. Why? Because I chose to be with him and look after the family. Because I thought that nurturing our relationship was my priority. Was I wrong?