Indian Society Relationships open letter mother-in-law daughter-in-law patriarchy orthodoxy

Dear Mother-In-Law, I'm Tired: I Have REAL Goals In Life I Swear

( words)
*For representational purpose only.

Dear Mother-in-law,

Stop being insecure about how I'm taking control of the family. I have “REAL” goals in my life.

It’s been 2 years since I got married and I have seen the changes in your behavior towards me. You didn’t have to act this sweet and caring, if you just wanted to take revenge for your son had a love marriage. Just because you couldn’t say no to him, you had to take it out on me.

I never imagined myself writing this. Unlike you, my mom was not always around to teach me how to cook. She was busy making a living for our family. And I’m so proud of her.

She gave up on her wishes to pay our school fees and help us make something good out of our lives. And when I grew up, I took the responsibility on myself to support my family financially just like your son did for you guys.

So, I don’t know how to cook. I don’t know how to worship our favourite gods. There you have it. But rather than taunting me about it, if you just give me a chance to learn and try, I might do it. They say “Our Bahu is like our daughter”, let me correct it– you can never treat your daughter-in-law like your daughter, no way close. I know and I’m very well aware that I cannot replace your daughter, but I have the right to be treated like family.

I did everything I knew I could do just to be accepted. I bought you gifts on every occasion even though I couldn’t do it for my own family.

I gave you all my time but you failed to notice. It’s been 2 years, and I haven't found the time to spend a full day with my family. I’m tired of being the only one to put effort into the relationship.

According to you, women work only so that they can spend time outside the house. Your son is the one who is actually the sole financial supporter. Just FYI, if I don't support your son financially, your son won’t have the kind of lifestyle he has today. I notice how good you become with me around your son and I fear the day when he will see the hypocrisy in your behaviour.

He respects and loves you a lot. At least for him, try to adjust. I just want to be a part of the family. So stop being insecure about how I'm taking control of the family. I have “REAL” goals in my life.

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