Dear Future Husband, Will You Still Love Me If I Become Fat?

Anonymous Anonymous in Single Women Bad Women on 26 January, 2018

Dear Men, it’s about time you stop comparing your girlfriends and wives to movie stars and models!

I’m a well-educated and intelligent woman who is both good-looking and confident about myself. I’m 5’7, I weigh 63kgs and I earn six digits a month.

Of course, because I’m earning so much, my company is doing their due diligence to make sure they get every bit of that money’s worth out of me. I don’t think it’s wrong because the work is good and the experience I’m getting, even better.

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I moved to a different state, for work, a place where I didn’t know the language and began living an independent life. I can’t cook and whenever I could, I would start eating outside. Of course because of this, I began putting on some weight and get some rashes on my face too. Since I got homesick often, I would travel home every week and because of that, the change in water, sleep and basically food habits in general, began taking a toll on me, physically more than anything.

With my busy schedule, I didn’t have time to go to a gym or even take cooking lessons. As you can imagine, by this time, my parents began looking for someone for me to settle down with.

Out of the five men who I met through this arrangement, I noticed that everyone liked me, but I had an issue with the way they thought.

I did find one who was interesting and I thought that we were compatible. Even though he earned less than me, was less educated and even one could say, was average when it came to his looks, I wanted to meet him a second or third time because he was understanding and supportive. He and his family liked me for who I was and they were ready to take things forward.
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Over time, I got to know them better and our families even allowed us to extend our courtship till the time we both were on the same page.

During this time, he understood me well, he listened to me when I spoke about my dreams and passions and told me that he’d be with me, every step of the way. His entire family seemed so loving and caring that I thought that I had found the perfect family to enter into, without having to sacrifice who I was as a person.

One day, we were out on a date, it was an amazing evening and we had had a really good time, when his sister called from abroad. She thought the date might have been over by now and was curious to know how it was going. I was shocked when I overheard him say, “Well, she’s a little fat.”

This wasn’t expected at all. I thought maybe he was joking because I had put on a bit of weight from the time the pictures that were attached in my biodata, the ones he had seen, but I was far from being called a ‘fat girl’.

Soon after, as talks of our marriage started falling into place, he began talking to me about losing weight and finding a cure for my rashes. I told him that I would definitely try to figure out a way but right now, I had no time with my busy schedule. He began pressurizing me more and this began bothering me.
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One day, he compared me to actresses. He told me that even though they’re older than me, they are way “hotter”. I promptly reminded him that it was their job to stay fit! Whereas I work for a company that pays me (and mind you, good money) to do my work, which I’m actually really good at, and not to shed a few pounds or undergoes skin treatments. Despite all of this, I still tried to wake up early and go for morning jogs, I don’t know why he couldn’t understand that.

One day, I had his phone in my hand and randomly checked his chat. I was surprised when I found a conversation between him, his mom and his sister. He had sent them some recent pictures of me and they sent him texts like, “When did she become so fat?”, “Did this happen now?”, “Were those pictures edited?”.

I couldn’t understand how two women, one of them who was a mother of a daughter herself, could say something like this about another woman! Of course, this didn’t stop me from calling off the marriage and then one day, he took me to a dermatologist when he told me we were going out!

I was shocked, but then still went ahead with all the treatments that the doctor prescribed to me. Because of this, I began skipping my workouts and when the guilt of this consumed me, I began skipping meals and got several gastronomical problems that eventually turned into breathing ones. He asked me to quit my job so that I could move back home so that I could spend time concentrating on my skin and my body. I couldn’t believe this. What was I signing up for?! I wasn’t going to enter a beauty contest!

I was frustrated by now and asked me that if he loved me for who I was, and what I looked like, only then should he stay, if not, he was more than welcome to leave. I told him I had had enough and he had to stop torturing me. He apologized and I realized that I felt bad that I would be marrying someone who would possibly stop loving me if I put on some weight.

One day, my mom called his mother for some work. His mom then went on to tell her that our kids have had some misunderstanding and it seems that your daughter has changed from the picture that you sent to us earlier. Oh my god, I couldn’t believe my ears when my mom told me this. I was infuriated.

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I called the guy, and asked if his entire family was blind; whether all this time when we were meeting, didn’t they realize that I didn’t look anything like the girl in the picture that was shared with them earlier?! When he confronted his mother of this conversation, she in turn threw the entire accusation on to my mother.

By now, my family was done with them and we called off this wedding. I’d rather stay single; a single, independent, well-educated woman, than end up with a conservative and ridiculous family like theirs.

I just have one message for you, inner beauty is what you should be aiming for and just remember, when it comes to your daughter, you’ll want someone to do the same and not look at that wavering, unlined jaw of hers!

 

Editor's Note:

Share this story, because it's time we look at a person for who they are and not what they look like! Because remember, this could turn into an ugly two-way street!