How I Had To Break My Leg To Figure Out Life As A Single Working Woman And Divorcee

Reetika Mukherjee Reetika Mukherjee in Stolen Diaries on 28 April, 2017

It was a Friday evening, I went out with Vikram from College, who I barely knew.

The music was loud, the ambience was smoky and dark and all I could think was, "I still have it in me, I am with a guy just having a couple of drinks. I need to stop thinking about marriage, about relationship. Damn Me! Stop thinking!"

*Gulp* That was the sound of both the drink and the thought sinking in. Getting carried away by the emotion of taking a break from my daily life drama I began getting lost with the groove.

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“Tina! Open your eyes! Do you remember anything at all that happened last night? Tina! Wake up! Tinaaa...!” As I struggled to open my eyes, there I was in my bed, with a broken plastered leg, surrounded by Ansh, Meenal and her husband Tushar, all splashing water on my face and shouting out my name.

What I believe to have happened after hearing the furious Ansh, is that I passed out in the club and was escorted to my house by Vikram, who struggled his way to get me to blabber my address at the least. Then on not answering any calls, Ansh got worried and came home to check on me. He found Vikram already struggling with sobering me up. Then after an episode of Ansh asking him to leave and calling Meenal and Tushar, they took me to the hospital, got my broken ankle plastered and brought me back home and put me off to sleep.

Now, while coming back to my senses and getting shouted at by Ansh for how carelessly I handled myself, I learnt they had already flown in my mother to be with me till I recovered. Smoking and drinking in future were also banned for me by Ansh.

Ansh has been a dear friend and support for me after I walked out of my marriage with Varun. Ansh and I never had a love angle per se but yes the absolute buddy paradigm is shared.

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Varun and I got separated after our arranged marriage did not work out.

Now after being in the bed with a plastered leg for the last couple of weeks I think I have finally figured out my life. So here are all the things I did and learnt in my time in bed:

1. I have been missing mom for so long. I almost cried every night to sleep. Despite the lonely feeling, I was extremely angry with her for marrying me off too soon. Now, I am happily staying with my mom!

2. Initially I was apprehensive for divorcing Varun and thought it was too early and was contemplating giving us a second chance. After telling him about my injury, he did not even care to ask about how I broke my leg, let alone come and visit me. Now I am clear about all my apprehensions.

3. My parents who did not earlier understand why I wanted separation now saw what I meant after they saw me struggle on my own despite being socially tagged as "married". They now support me in choosing a happy life.

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4. I became clear of who my pseudo friends were so I kicked them out of my life.

5. I actually realized how much I meant to a few people around me and whom I took for granted. I could see them getting flustered for me! I value them much more now.

6. I now know that even though I desperately want to destroy myself, I can’t because of all the trauma it will bring upon my family and friends who actually care about me. So I can’t be selfish and kill myself!

7. I have an amazing resting period with mum's home cooked food. What more can a single, working person ask for?

8. I now have started reading a book at one go and actually get the chance to contemplate. I'm finally doing what I love the most.

9. I know now where my heart wants to be, who it wants to be with and most importantly, when. I have never been more sure about my desires before.

10. I have quit smoking and drinking forever and made my best friends do the same. We thought we could never quit.

Lastly, I would say that now I am genuinely happy and I don’t need to fake it anymore. I guess that's all that was needed — to break my leg at a party (literally) to figure out the rest of my life.