I read a lot about feminism and I wonder whether women out there really understand that word or simply follow it for the sake of it. After all, this is what it’s trending now.
I can very well say that women are the ones who are still betrayed, downgraded, and looked down upon by many sections of this society for reasons (so-called conventional) known to them. But there are a lot of instances where men are too betrayed, tortured, threatened, and made to feel that they have no rights to live as the law is somewhat inclined more towards women.
There are laws which have been drafted to take care of many aggrieved women but few horrible women take wrong advantage of it and wreck somebody else’s life without having any of their faults.
My cousin married a girl of his parent’s choice. They got to know each only after the engagement, as my cousin was living abroad and he came down to India straight to attend the function. The girl told him that she has been physical with few of the guys before marriage, and asked him if he was ok with that. I don’t know if she was trying to show herself as being ‘modern’ or what was going in her mind.Obviously, he was startled at the revelation and refused to marry her. But families intervened and the marriage took place.
My cousin's family was very supportive of her and even told her that’s the thing of past and they were ready to accept her.
They had a baby after a year of the marriage and everything seemed fine then. But they never had any compatibility between them for the reason best known to them. My cousin contemplated for divorce many times but it didn’t happen because the families were involved.
One fine day, my cousin came to know that she was going around with another married man and that’s when their marriage finally ended.
My question here is not why she did that. Many of you will say because she was unhappy in the marriage. I completely agree with that but then why betray the family like this. That man was made to rent a house (his wife was in another city) in the society where she was staying so that she could visit him anytime and be called to her place in my cousin's absence. Once, she made an official visit (not an official one as it became clear later) to the other city and he accompanied her there. And back at home, my cousin and his mother took care of the child for 4 days without doubting and questioning her. And that too at that time, when they both had decided to genuinely work out their relationship. Why is such betrayal required then?
A maid who used to take care of the child finally revealed everything to my cousin on the persuasion of the neighbours. Can you imagine how it can shatter anyone’s life after hearing such kind of things?
All workers in the society were witness to that and made so many shocking revelations that my cousin became very much indifferent to all of it. He just wanted a divorce and that's it. He even had a nervous breakdown but he just wanted a divorce, but she wanted alimony and that too in a good amount. And when everyone got to know her true face, there were continuous threats and lose talks from her end. Why was all this required?
When you are not happy in a relationship, simply come out of it but don’t cheat or betray your partner with lies. And you don’t get to ask for alimony if you were not a faithful person (let alone a wife).
Just think about the families involved – they die a death every day as they are not able to come to terms with the fact that woman they trusted and accepted by all means is now threatening them with dowry harassment case. How does she get that right? Because she is a woman and got caught. So she wanted to do everything under the name of marriage. No, that's not fair.
You have every freedom to live your life on your own terms but not at the cost of other person's dignity and trust.
You can’t cheat on any person just for your own pleasure. Think about the person who was unhappy with you but was still being faithful. What about the parents of my cousin who were always struggling between two cities just to take care of the kid whenever they were asked to come? What about them? It's not only about you, lady.
I know there are talks of woman empowerment, feminism, and more but first, start giving respect and be fair to everyone and then have the guts to talk about your so-called ‘rights.’
What about the child now? He missed his father and doesn’t get to meet him because you are only interested in your alimony. That's completely unfair and uncalled for. I respect women who are strong headed, independent, and fair. But I am definitely against who are selfish, mean, and not trustworthy.
As a woman, I believe feminism is not about doing things and living your life on your terms but living it fairly, with grace and with your head held high.