My Husband Plays Every Role In My Life But That Of A Lover: I Don't Know What To Do
I married someone who played the role of my mother, father, sister and friend when I needed it the most but not husband.
I met him on Facebook through common friends. I already had a broken engagement 2 years ago. This guy suddenly changed his mind after roka and so I went into depression. Isolated myself completely. Forget how to trust people.
I had recently started my life again. After chatting for some days, we exchanged numbers. He seemed very simple and down to earth. Common friends had volumes of good things to say about him. His niceness was consistent. I was already 30. So I said yes to his proposal after a lot of background check.
We started staying together. During marriage due to guests and lack of space we could not spend our first night together. So we went to a 5 star hotel. He was okay and showed normal excitement.
He would always say he is tired or even if I insisted on doing something, he would come up with wired excuses and will postpone things for the weekend. On weekends he would try his best to stay busy with other tasks and would never mention sex.
Slowly it became a monthly and then once in two months activity. Trust me I am considered very attractive by people around me. I have always had people around panting. But to my surprise, I could never seduce my own husband.
Sex was not the only thing lacking, he never held my hand. In a movie or on a drive or just at home. He never even tried to hug. I tried do solve things to the best of my capabilities. I asked why there was never any excitement or desire from his side. I even advised him to speak to his besties or take help from medical practitioners.
He always claimed that he is normal. Then after 2 years of our marriage I wanted to have a kid, I said "let's try, if we are not lucky we can take help from doctors as we are in mid 30's now."
He did not say anything but stopped touching me completely. I started to think a lot about it, day-in day-out. I searched for random things on the Internet like a crazy woman. I don't think he is gay because he once told me that he watches porn and he also likes to masturbate regularly.
He could be asexual (not a common term in India) or auto-sexual. I tried to help us, help me, help him. I told him a thousand times, "it's okay you might not have realised before marriage, I am ready to accept you with whatever you are but first you have to confess and accept things yourself."
We completed 3 years in May and we had not had any physical contact for the last 9 months. For me it's extremely hard to live like this. I can't sleep, there's no peace.
To add to my surprise, his family has never asked me to have a baby. It could be that I am the only bahu in India whose mother-in-law does not want a grandchild. My story has not ending as yet. I am suffering and probably still googling a resolution while you are reading my story.