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I Will Happily Divorce This Man Instead Of Being Forced To Cheat

( words)
*For representational purpose only.

I’ve had an affair with my husband’s best friend for two years now. They’ve known each other since school and have always been like brothers.

My husband, Raghav (name changed), is an introvert, but when he’s with Vishal (name changed) he’s a different person. I’ve always thought Vishal was cute and funny, but that’s about it. I never felt anything more towards him and have always been a happily married woman.

One afternoon, during a very random conversation, I found out that Vishal thought I was hot.

And just like that, something changed inside me.
Despite my husband being a kind man that provided for my kid and I, I couldn’t stop thinking about Vishal and what it’d be like to be with him.

To be honest to my family life, I married my husband only for the money, it was only much later that I fell in love with him. But I did. I cared about him a lot, but after meeting Vishal, something changed drastically. Suddenly, I couldn’t get Vishal out of my mind. I wanted him.

We started texting regularly, my husband didn’t suspect a thing. Vishal and I got close, he began sharing his darkest secrets with me and I and made me laugh.
One day, he asked me if I had ever fantasied about him. I said yes.

And that’s when we crossed all our boundaries; that was the opening that we were both look for. He began telling me about his dreams, with me. And I, of my fantasies with him. Soon, all it took was a thought of him to arouse me instantly.

He would come to our house almost every day and my kid loved him more than his own dad. Vishal always knew what to say, how to play with him and overall just seemed like the perfect fit for my life.

We started talking on the phone, dreaming about what it’d be like if we were the ones that got married. I also realized that I wasn’t happy with my husband; I began bitching about him to Vishal, telling him everything that was wrong about my marriage. As I began to do this, I wanted Vishal even more.

One day, when he was over, he stroked my arm with his finger. My husband was in the next room; I felt like I had been hit with lightening.

Our connection grew strong and all I could think of was having sex with him. Which, we never did. We used to make out whenever we could, wherever we could: his house, my house, his car, anywhere. And I had absolutely no guilt making out with my husband’s best friend, because all I desired, was his touch. My husband never suspected a thing and I didn’t regret any of this.

Sex with my husband went from bad to worse. Soon, I was smiling all day and that’s when my husband began suspecting something, but he never had the guts to say a word to me about it.

And just like that, one day, Vishal stopped calling. I felt alone. Unhappy. Confused. He’s not in our lives anymore and I’m stuck here with my husband.

I think about Vishal every single day. It’s been five years but there hasn’t been a day when I haven’t thought about him.
For some reason, I removed all of this anger of my husband. And I wanted revenge. And so, I slept with another friend of his a couple of months ago.

I will happily divorce this man, but I don’t want my child to suffer because of my mistakes and confusion. I don’t know what to do. I’m confused and it’s affecting my health and definitely my husband’s state of mind too.

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