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I Want To Kiss Him Again And It's Not Possible

( words)
*For representational purpose only.

We weren't just friends. Maybe we were a little more than that. We loved to talk and we weren't much into messaging. It was good to spend time chatting in the terrace. We loved it there. We messaged each other only when it got very difficult to meet.

We were comfortable even when we were silent with each other. I told him about me shifting to another city. He couldn't come with me because he was a year younger than me. We were just teasing each other. That's when we suddenly hugged each other tightly. He expressed his opinion on how awesome that spot could be for lovers. We were laughing and talking without leaving each other's embrace.

We messaged each other only when it got very difficult to meet. We were comfortable even when we were silent with each other.

I told him about me shifting to another city. He couldn't come with me because he was a year younger than me. We were just teasing each other. That's when we suddenly hugged each other tightly.  He expressed his opinion on how awesome that spot could be for lovers. We were laughing and talking without leaving each other's embrace. He asked me if I knew what hickey was. I said I know, for which he asked if I knew how to give one. The topic got diverted after the look I gave.

I knew it was late so I left only to turn back. I ran towards him and hugged him for five more minutes. He suddenly asked me again if I could give him a hickey. I had all sorts of thoughts in my mind. I tried to give it to him but I was unsuccessful. We smiled at each other but it didn't feel wrong. I looked at him and wondered if he would kiss me and how awkward it could be.

He took off his glasses first and then I took off mine. In the next moment, we were kissing each other. Ten minutes later I knew that he would move forward with this. I was hesitant. I withdrew and picked up my glasses and left. I looked behind and saw him covering his face. I went home and told my best friend about all that had happened. She asked me to talk it out and sort it out between us. I did and he clearly declined when I asked him to meet.

Later he asked me to forget all that had happened. But I couldn't. I wanted to kiss him again but I feel that he is guilty and doesn't want to meet me again. I don't want to lose him. After all, he is my best friend.

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