My life was like a train which has gathered all its momentum, reaching all the necessary destinations at the right time. But there was something wrong. I’m twenty-seven years old and I have recently delivered a baby boy. I had a well-balanced life, a life that was good but rather, uneventful.
For the past seven years, my husband has always been understanding and supportive. He was my best friend. Our wedding took place two years ago. In the initial stages of our marriage, he was all mine – physically, mentally and emotionally. He took good care of me and loved me with all of his heart.
When we were dating, he always looked for an opportunity to touch and tease me. I learned to pleasure a man from him. It was from him that I realized that a touch from the man you love is more pleasurable than anything else.
Sometimes I resisted as the ‘good girl’ in me taunted me. But I knew that we were madly in love.
I still remember how he winked at me on our wedding night. He had this naughty yet beautiful smile. I still cherish it. Time flew with all the tempting and teasing. It took us one month to actually perform an intercourse. But with all the waiting, it was worth it. However, I noticed that he was no longer interested in sex. It took me months to gather enough courage to take the initiative. Eventually, I started begging him for the same, whilst feeling unsatisfied and guilty for having to implore him for something that’s an inevitable part of our marriage.
Tell me, is it wrong to ask for intimacy with our partner? It was not like he was having an affair. He was plain lazy and tired – so tired that he couldn’t wait for me. I still feel the lump in my throat when I’m writing all this while he just sat crouched up in the sofa with his stupid video games and mobile phone.
After a month of trying, I got pregnant. From then on, my pregnancy became an excuse for not touching me. As if I would pop up if he lay his hands on me. It has been one and a half year and my husband has completely lost his interest in me.
It’s not that I am sexually starved, but I feel unwanted and rejected.
I have stopped asking for sex. But I wish he would touch me some day, surprise me by embracing me from behind and make him mine, all over again. Furthermore, he wouldn’t even take care of the baby or get up at night to help. I just feel alone, as if the entire responsibility of the family is on me. Even when I’m with my in-laws, he would never help but just say he has some work to do or that he was studying.
What about me? Even I have work to do, I must take care of the baby. Living like this would only make me feel miserable yet I don’t know what to do. No matter what the situation may be, I still love him and I would never cheat on him.
But it hurts deeply when the one you love doesn't show any interest in rekindling the relationship, but only worsening it further.