Does love even exist nowadays? This question came to my mind after two horrible relationships. This started a few years ago, when I was dating a guy who actually treated me like this wife. I was so happy but that was the problem with us, we were perfect. And so, just like that our perfect world came spiralling down and everything between us changed.

From spending days talking about our wedding, I was now lying curled up in my bed, crying as he was getting married to someone else.

Somehow, I managed to collect the pieces of my shattered heart and met this guy who managed to break me, from the inside out.

It started with a poke on Facebook and then to some normal chatting on Messenger. He was charming and after chatting with him for a few days, he understood my emotional requirement at the moment of my breakup.

He was immensely caring, protective and even showed concern for my emotional healing; he was everything that I needed.

One day, he proposed to me and it took me a while, but I soon said yes. I was really happy when I was with him and he was always by my side, emotionally too.

But as all stories that being with love and care go, ours too lasted only until I was completely dependent upon him. Once he knew that I wasn’t going to leave him, he began ignoring me and I could sense something was wrong. Whenever I asked him, he said he had no idea and blamed me for being negative about us. But I knew something was wrong.

One day, it was my birthday, and I managed to get a hold of his phone. When I checked his messages, I found out that he was dating 3 other girls.

When I confronted him, he began to apologize and begged me to give him another chance. I couldn’t let go but I couldn’t stay with him either. Somehow, he convinced me to give him another chance. 

Everything went back to normal but I still felt that something was still missing from our relationship. I had a gut-feeling that he was still with one or all of those other girls.

I couldn’t believe this, I thought he was a good guy and here I was wondering my boyfriend was faithful to me.
Just as I thought things were going back to normal, I found out that he was dating his childhood friend for almost a year and a half before he met me. The two of them didn’t have a mutual or calm breakup and his ex still wanted to be with him. He couldn’t get rid of her and so that’s why he was dating all of us on the side.

When I confronted him again, he said that he couldn’t choose between one or the other, and wanted us all in his life. I told him I was going to leave him because I didn’t want to be an option in his life anymore but once again, he promised that he would change and I somehow believed him.

Everything seemed to become normal now. We used to meet every weekend, go out for trips, night outs and we both were genuinely happy.

And just like that, one day I found out that he had been dating another girl for four years now. I had given up, entirely. I wasn’t even shocked when I found out about it and this time, when he apologized and begged me to stay, I told him that I wanted to fix things, but for myself, not for him.

He said he still had feelings for me, but he couldn’t be in a relationship anyway. He just never knew how to end things with me, because he didn’t want to hurt me, or those other girls.

All I could say was, “Take care,” and walk out.

On my last birthday, I found out that he was cheating on me, this year, we aren’t together and I wish I had done this much, much earlier.

I am not okay, I’m broken, but I want to stay strong, for myself. I still do pray for him and hope that he finds a love that’s so true that it teaches him how to respect women and those who love and care for him. 

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