It Took Me 33 Years To Understand My Worth, This Time I’ll Love Myself…
( words)
*For representational purpose only.
I am tired of feeling unwanted. All my life, I felt the least regarded and undeserving.
I was good at studying. I am hardworking. Never bothered anyone. Self-reliable. Independent. Working. Not gorgeous, but pretty. Well-spoken.
I've always tried to help others as much as possible. But I don't know where I’m lacking. The most important people in my life make me feel unseen at times. I don't know what’s my fault.
I don't understand since expressing that someone is important to you and that you need them has somehow become taboo. The world has grown so materialistic and superficial that the only language people seem to understand is that of profit and money. Even in blood relations, people just need to gain.
Sometimes, I feel like taking my daughter with me and leaving everyone to some place where there is peace or where I can be peaceful, working for both of us and giving her a sustainable life.
And in the very next moment, I feel why I am getting these thoughts.
At 33, I'm exhausted from living just to gain recognition, to feel wanted and important. It's become draining.
Now, I distanced myself from those who took advantage of my kindness, being nice even when they were mean.
I am just leaving everything behind, eluding myself away from all the people who always wanted me to prove my worth. I will not try harder. I will just be me and live as I feel.
If they want me, they will be with me without asking much of me; if they don't, people are free to go. My palms and my heart are open now.
Neither do I want to hold anyone, nor will I want someone to hold me.