Recently, I told my 9-year-long best friend that I loved him. Well, I was compelled to confess, actually. 

His reply to this was, "I like you too..."

But as most fairytales and films tell us, nothing changed after his confession... in fact, sorry, things did change, but not the way they should have. 

We used to have our fights, earlier, they were fun and endearing, but over time, they began to get more hurtful, and I was constantly showered with anger. I tried to forget things, it's something that I could manage easily. But with time, his words became more humiliating and insulting. 

He started calling me a "f*cking a**hole b*tch" and instead of "I love you", he began telling me to "f*ck off". I keep on telling him that he's important to me, and that I can never leave his side. And somewhere along the way, he began taking this love for granted. 

He's never ready to accept what he has for me. And so I'm stuck because now I'm not so sure if he loves me or not. There are so many mixed feelings here. 

One day, he told me that I'm clingy. He demanded to know why I couldn't spend a whole day without messaging him. He thought that I was making silly excuses to talk and contact him. 

I tried to reduce this; I tried to change and give him space, but when I did this, he came to me and accused me of having a lot of ego and pride, and that I ignored him. He even threatens me and tells me that the day I realise my faults, it will be too late and that "these insults of yours will have dire consequences.".

I am really hurt and tired of this toxicity and have finally decided to move on from this person who once was my best friend. 

I don't know how long I truly can stay away from him, but I know that I deserve better and can't go back to the person who made me feel unwanted and treated me, and the love I had to give, like dirt. 

I'm at a moment in life, when I can never love again... love or trust another person again.

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