Things I learnt after going to an all girls college,
1. It can be extremely uncomfortable to sit with your legs close to each other as the touching/rubbing of thighs causes sweat and irritation. Contrary to popular belief, women feel totally comfortable keeping their legs apart when they aren’t being monitored by sperm-possessors under the gender-conforming systematic apparatus that sexualises vaginas.
Hey girl, spread them legs whenever you want, however you want!
2. Women tend to love each other without any inherent impulse to harbour hate or jealousy over how the other woman looks/what the other woman possesses. In fact, when they are allowed to express themselves in a free setting, they recognise their power to resist/manipulate systems that strategically reproduce similar societies while subtly accommodating the idea of a progressive flux.
3. In an environment where you don’t have the consistent fear of being groped/harassed/assault shoved down your throat with every breath you take, women learn to unlearn pre-conceived ideas of living in bodies, that are predetermined crime spots, with socially approved criminals, who are just doing what nature has conveniently assigned them to do.
Since women are the ones defying the law by resisting the order of nature, anything happening or the mere lack of it is caused either by the inability/ability of women to have caused otherwise.
Reading, discussing, sharing (without the fear of threatening traditionally empowered groups), often enables women to work their way through contexts and scenarios while reclaiming their power to bargain with patriarchy and challenge discourses.
4. Timely acceptance of your sexual impulse is key to recognition of manufactured consent. Only you own your body you inhabit, and if anyone tries to alter your state of consciousness, refusing to take the time to understand how your body functions and what it really needs, you can show them the unapologetic exit gate from your phenomenal life.
I think what I’m trying to say is that I didn’t realize how the fear of being physically weaker, the fear of being groped/assaulted/beaten, was altering my mind and body so much on a daily basis. However, everything changed when I stepped into a world where I was allowed to run free.
Where I didn't have to care about anyone discussing the weird shape of my ass when it moves too fast, or without anyone commenting on my nipples being visible because I didn’t wear a bra, or my dark lipstick shade being a subtle invitation to invade everything familiar.
I slowly learnt to voice my opinion without a louder (ignorant) voice suppressing mine. I learnt to wear crop-tops without the fear of my waist-line being a mid-day party for hungry hands. I learnt everything by unlearning what fear had taught me, almost gradually, with the abruptness and the consistency of a moving fan, injected into my craving nerves.
And for the first time, the grass was greener on my side.
For the first time, the grass on my side wasn’t short"er" or weak"er" or less"er". For the first time, the grass on my side was all that there was, and I was told to run on it freely for as long as I wanted to, without the other side calling the act of running, sexual or rebellious or inappropriate. Of course, my hair flew and my boobs shook but it was all okay.
For the first time, I was complete. I was whole. I was enough. For the first time, sentences began with, “if she does this/does that, then…”
You’ll probably tell me I shouldn’t have gone to an all girls college because it alienates the viewpoint of the other gender, and I would look at you with puppy eyes amused at the spontaneity of the moment, where you never realised how the OTHER viewpoint is all that has existed since the beginning of time.
When male viewpoint is all you’ve known all your life, a certain distance is needed to give you the permission (as it’s said) to have your own. To let you have your own as an independent entity, without existing in relation to a fear-installing, soul-wrenching, gender-reinforcing system.
And unless you have your own, can you fully accept the other?