What I Realised About Mom-Shaming After 6 Months Of Being A Mother

Jessica Sahay Jessica Sahay in Single Women Bad Women on 5 July, 2017

I wonder how many of you instantly cursed me when you read the title of my story? I know that almost all the moms reading this right now have labeled me as the worst human being. But wait! Don’t judge me in haste.

After six months of being a mom, I realized it. All of us think we are best at rearing a child and all of us think we are the best moms in the world and can’t do anything wrong. Even I considered myself the same until I realized I was so wrong.

Before and after my child was born, I was introduced to a world of support groups on Facebook and Whatsapp by good friends. It was said here that these support groups are fantastic and can help every new mom with any help or answers to all the queries, no matter how small it is. I have benefited immensely from them, so I can’t deny their contribution.

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I followed all the groups and found some great advice but amidst all, I found some moms who appeared to be judgmental of what others were doing. If you hold your child too much, you are mollycoddling and if you do not then your love is inadequate. If you allow your child to sleep with you, you are not encouraging independence and if your child sleeps separate, then you are not giving enough affection.

The absolute WORST critique I have come across is with regards to nursing your child.

We all know and are aware of the benefits of breast milk and how the child "ideally" must be exclusively breastfed for 6 months post which solids can be introduced. But there are those moms who haven't been able to breastfeed their child, reasons could be several.

When a mom asks for advice on formula milk, what follows is shaming and blaming the mom. Could all you good women imagine, what that poor mom must be going through?
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A thought struck me that this overbearing critique of new moms by other mothers is done even outside social media. Just ask yourself, how many times you have criticized when you have seen a mother doing something with her child which you don't agree with. Now, this disagreement often comes from ignorance. We think, since we don’t know it's not right or it doesn't exist. I myself admit that I have criticized so many relatives and friends on the upbringing of their children. The reason is that I was brought up in a different way and I didn't know better.

Now when I am a mother, I understand what each mother goes through and how difficult it is. Each child is different and unique and believe me each and every mother is giving her best effort to ensure her child grows up healthy, happy and accomplished.

Author's Note:

Let's stop judging and shaming. Let's defy the statement "a woman is another woman's worst enemy". Yes, we might not always agree with others but that doesn’t mean we should criticize them. Every mom makes a mistake, somehow or the other. What we need is to learn from our mistakes and from others as well. And the process could be much easier with support and sensitivity.

Editor's Note:

Share the story, as mom shaming is becoming very common nowadays and we need to discourage this. We all know that raising a child is such a difficult task, let’s not make it more difficult. Instead, all moms must support each other in the journey of motherhood.