This Is How She Became “Impure” One Fine Day When She Was 10

Rituparna  Paul Rituparna Paul in Single Women Bad Women on 29 September, 2017

The same room. The bathroom, where she has spent some extra minutes each month whenever she was "impure". Then, it was dingy; lights went off as power supply wasn't constant. She couldn't come out of it after she had seen the red tissues. Because the first person she would accidentally touch would have to take bath again.

She wouldn't mind inflicting the same pain to someone else, especially the men in the family. In her heart she never knew it was a sin. A sin to want to inflict pain to others. No girl would have known that at her age. But she wasn't a girl anymore, she changed to a woman that day, on her tenth birthday. Of course, greater disasters followed hence.

She was less angry with every new. Disappointments were turned to grief and grief into anger. No, it wasn't that day when her mother forbid her to eat non vegetarian meals. For her mother, it wasn't forbidding, it was just an invitation to eat vegetables.

The first day as she clearly remembers. That bathroom, with its corners already half eaten away by water. The paint already faded. That electric wire hanging loosely through the room that supported the bulb hanging from it. She was in it. All alone. Waiting for her mother to bring hot water to "purify" her as it was a cold evening.

Finally, the water was brought along with the instructions. The clothes that she was wearing were to be washed first and then she had to bathe. Only after that should she be able touch those new clothes hanging on the rope brought by her mother. She went home after the performance.

Mother asked "have you had a bath?" Although she already knew the answer. Kalki gave a nod. The constant gaze of her mother made her uncomfortable. Kalki half embarrassed replied to that gaze with a smile.

"You have no idea what disaster has fallen upon you child!" With that Kalki saw a tear drop at the corner of her mother's eyes. Her mother turned her head to hide it. "Come now, I will show you how to wear the napkin". "The napkin" was nothing but a piece of cloth, torn from a saree that her mother once used to wear, probably one twentieth of its size. Mother showed how to fold it. After it was folded, the piece changed to a smaller size, probably a bit larger than the sanitary napkins that are used today.

Take it between your legs. Kalki stood there astonished. She didn't want it in between her legs. It appeared to be dirty. But she did it. But she had to wait for at least fifteen days before she can touch the Tulsi plant that she used to worship everyday after having a bath. But today this bath didn't purify her and the idol of God had to wait for the village pundit to bring cow dung mixed with cow piss along with some mantra chanted to purify her. But who knew, she was never going to be purified. Even though her mind will not be corrupted, the innocence is gone forever