Is life tough for all of us? I think life is tough only for a few unlucky souls like me. I am a student of medicine. I lead an extremely stressful professional life. I have no one to talk to.

But somehow I feel that my life has started becoming more difficult now. I experienced another traumatic situation last week.

My first traumatic phase started when I was 18 years old. I met a guy on social media about 5 years back. It was sheer coincidence that he turned out to be my neighbour. He is with the Indian Air Force. He is a Rajput and I am an Assamese woman. We belong to different communities. Our conversations became serious. He was posted in Srinagar so we could meet each other quite often. We decided to meet each other again when he came home.

I was a young soul and my love for him was pure. I was still a teenager and I loved him a lot. Everything was fine between us at that time.

He would often talk to me about his ex-girlfriend. I would listen to him when he talked about her with a heavy heart but I did not take his relationship with her seriously. Several months passed this way. I then asked him to discuss our relationship with his parents. His family was looking out for a suitable match for him. When he discussed our relationship with his parents, his father rejected me because I belonged to a different community.

I was heartbroken so I decided to talk to his father. I called him but he refused to talk to me.

I was really very surprised when his father called my mother the next day and told her that he wanted to meet her. He came the next day and talked to my parents about our marriage.

That was the happiest day of my life.

But life obviously had other plans for me. I was still doing my first year of medicine. Things between us were really smooth sailing now. He did not always take my calls and ignored my messages but I was used to this by now.

I would often wait for his calls and messages until 3 a.m. but I did not mind doing this because I considered him to be my husband.

We had been sharing a physical relationship for the past four years. After his father decided to fix our wedding date I realized that I was pregnant.

I now saw his true colours. He started avoiding me. I knew that he was deliberately not taking my calls. I then got the news that he was engaged to a girl that his parents had chosen for him. His father had lied to us about getting us married.

Even when I heard such things about him from other people, I continued to trust him. He insisted that I go in for an abortion. He said he would commit suicide if I didn’t do so. I was so blindly in love with him that I aborted my baby.

But I developed complications after that. I was suffering from a septic infection but he did not even bother to meet me. I then started suffering from jaundice. So I went home with a broken heart and told my mother about all that they had been doing to us. My mother complained to the police and told them that they had cheated us. She was really broken-hearted when she saw my condition.

I am a really very beautiful girl but at that time I had lost a lot of weight. My eyes had turned yellow and there were dark circles under them.

While I was struggling with my life he was busy with his new fiancé. I asked my mother to take back the police complaint.

I told her that there was no use going ahead with it because it was too late to do anything about it now. He had already moved on with his life.

But he would call me sometimes and talk to me for 5 minutes. I would always receive his calls. A year passed in this manner.

I still hoped that he would come back to me one day but nothing like that ever happened.

I then got a call from him after a long time. He said, “I am sorry but maine shaadi kar li hai. Tumhari mummy mere upar case karegi. So please help me.” I just fainted when I heard his words. I cried all through the night. I could not talk to anyone for a long while. But my parents and one of my friends stood by me and helped me out through this difficult phase. I even tried to kill myself at this time.

But time heals everything. That is the best part of life.

I could have easily filed a case against my ex-boyfriend. I could have got a huge amount of money from him if I had done this. But he would have lost his job if I had gone ahead with it.

I loved him. My love for him was unconditional. He is happy with his wife now but my life is filled with emotional turmoil.

I met someone else on Facebook after a year. I liked him and wanted to give myself a second chance in life. He was OK with me and claimed to love me till I told him about my past.

I did not want to commit the sin of hiding my past.

But his behaviour changed drastically. He now behaved rudely with me and called me a harlot and a characterless person. I put up with all his rudeness because I thought I deserved it. I had broken a basic rule of our society. But then even this guy finally left me. He said he could not be with me any longer because he now knew of my past. I am heartbroken now but I am OK with it. I realized that this guy was a completely emotionless person.

There was no need for him to abuse me. He could have just left me. But I guess I just have to live with such things.

I don’t know what else life has in store for me. I just hope that someday sometime I too find my share of happiness.

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