I'm a 28-year-old woman. I really don't know where to begin my story. Do I begin from my latest allotment of miseries or do I go all the way back when I was doomed as a child?
Let me begin from the beginning.
When I was a child, I wasn't even allowed to go to the nearby market alone because my parents thought anybody could take advantage of me. I was not even allowed to play with my cousins or sleepover at their homes. I couldn't open up to any kid in my neighbourhood. My so-called protective parents were always afraid that I might get raped or molested or harassed.
I'm not saying that their fears were baseless, but they carried out their duties to the extent that they killed my dreams. They always wanted me to study hard and achieve something, but they wanted me to do it in that little village we lived. Obviously, that was impossible. So they wanted to marry me off at the age of 18 to prevent me from becoming spoiled! They didn't want me to run away from home and ruin their respect in society.
I was in college at that time. I was never in a relationship but I had friends who were only my friends. My parents didn't understand it the least bit. They saw only what they wanted to see. They even beat me with leather belts and shoes for being friends with guys.
I was never good at studies but I was really good at co-curricular activities. My parents couldn't bear to accept that I was only average. Whenever I scored fewer marks, they would burn my skin with pliers. I wanted to become a scientist and pursue my career in biotechnology but my parents refused to send me to a place where I could actually study these things. They wanted me to live and die in front of their eyes only. So I had to study subjects that I could get even if I had no interest in them, just for the sake of finishing my graduation. Then they wanted me to get married to a random guy after meeting him for 2 minutes. But thankfully, they weren't able to find anyone half-decent.
So I begged them to let me do my post graduation to avoid marriage for a bit longer. They were reluctant, but they also wanted to show our relatives that they were good parents. In the meanwhile, they continued finding matches for me.
During my postgraduation, I had to go to Chandigarh for a 6-month industrial training. My parents were dead against it and wanted me to get married first. I was so fed up with them that I agreed. I had hardly met him for a minute and I was married off to him.
My life after marriage became worse. They wanted dowry and they continuously beat me up for it. I stayed there for nearly 3 years, losing my patience day by day. I finally came back home and filed for a divorce. After struggling for two and a half years, I was granted a divorce.
In between, I finished my B. Ed. and qualified my teachers' eligibility test for Ph.D. In order to submit my thesis, I had to research full time and there was no bandwidth for a job. My family accompanies me everywhere and now my parents are taunting me for sitting idle at home and not earning, but not even allowing me to attend interviews. If I don't attend an interview, how the f**k will I get a job? And what the f**k will I do with my degrees?
I absolutely don't want to live with them. The wear the mask of being good parents but they are monsters and villains of my life. They are the culprits. They ruined my life. I will never forgive them or forget what they did to me. I will not forgive them for what they are doing to me.
But thank God I have someone special in my life now. He is my philosopher and my mentor. He is a father figure and the support I never had before. He treats me like a princess and trains me like a soldier. He will always be by my side no matter what happens. I can't afford to lose him, ever.
For now, I can't tolerate my parents. I have to find a way out.