The Man I Love Gave Me Many Reasons Why He Can't Marry Me And They'll Make You Sick In The Stomach

Anonymous Anonymous in Single Women Bad Women on 12 January, 2017

My story is no different from any man and woman in this country struggling to get married in their late twenties or early thirties, especially dealing with the age-old arranged marriage tradition.

If you're thinking you'll get away with falling in love, you're wrong. Terribly wrong.

There are very few people in our generation who are okay with arranged marriages these days, I was one of them. I was happily looking for a guy for marriage and yes as per the family wishes, I had been talking to a couple of guys. Then fortunately or unfortunately, I moved to a different city, different company.

Advertisement

There I met a guy in my own team. It was 'like' at first sight for me and he liked me too. That was pure luck but it happened. He started asking me out and I also reciprocated (Please note: I am not blaming him because he never forced me) and this is how we started our so-called dating. Within a couple of weeks, he proposed to me for marriage and then started telling me about his family. In the meantime, I got so busy with him that I did not even consider talking to the guys I was speaking with for marriage. And since we were in the same company, we spent a lot of time together.

Like a true gentleman, he used to pick me up and drop me home every time we went out in the evening. With all these small gestures, he was making me fall for him. We were hanging out, which for me, meant it was leading to something permanent.

I had already told him that my family might have issues with this marriage because of caste and his reply was — "I will take care, my family would be okay, for them it would be just an FYI." He in fact fought with me 'n' number of times saying he was going home so he could tell his parents about us where I on the other hand stopped him every time because I didn't want to trouble him and he had already told me that it was just an FYI for his family. I had not told my parents. But as soon as I went home, I gave a slight hint about him to my brother and mother. I told him about this.

However, after being together for 1.5 years, a tragedy struck my family and my mom had a sudden heart attack and we lost her. I am 32 now and since we lost her, my father started panicking for my marriage so I asked him to tell his family now. I wanted to know where we stood then at least. But this is the hard way I learnt that guys are assh***s and why I won't trust a man again.

Advertisement

My beloved is giving me the following excuses to not marry me:

1. He has already told his family about us after the tragedy at my place, and his family is not ready to listen — reason being CASTE. He used to tell me that I am an upper caste and he belongs to a lower caste so my family might have problems. Now suddenly his family has issues.

2. His sister was in a similar situation (she was dating a low caste, poor, younger guy) and he did not support her. And the story he had narrated to me back then, when we were in love, was totally different, suddenly his story changed.

3. He went home for three weeks and suddenly his dad has a life threatening disease (that I never knew about), his dad is so unwell that he cannot trouble him by telling him about us. So his priority now is to take a place in the city so that he can take his dad to a doctor, get him treated. Life threatening problem but that can wait till he takes a flat to consult a doctor. If at all it makes sense.

4. He is not sure by when his parents will say Yes. So he is okay with me looking for options.

Advertisement

5. All his saving plans are only for his family.

6. He was okay to move to the NCR and now even after I have lost my mom, he suddenly loves his home town. He tortures me every day by saying he cannot move here because of traffic and other useless reasons..

So moral of the story — you really cannot trust anyone in today's world and people are full of shit.
Editor's Note:

If you don't want to marry her, leave her. At least don't make fake promises just to ruin her life. Share this story because she deserves closure at the very least.