The Love Of My Life Didn’t Marry Me Because I Was "Too Ambitious"

Anonymous Anonymous in Single Women Bad Women on 30 July, 2017


No! This is not “yet another article on feminism”. Being born into a normal middle class, not-so-modern yet modern family, I can proudly say that I have parents who not only allowed a girl to come into this world but also supported her to be emotionally and financially independent.

Little did they know that their decision to have an only girl child would have repercussions much later. Two decades on, today I am here writing this, not knowing what else to do in the situation that I am.

Sometimes things are just not meant to be. Choices go wrong, decisions end up in disaster. Till few days back, I had what one can say a ‘perfect life’. Supportive family, lovely friends, a stable job and .. "a perfect life partner" my life had all the ingredients of a perfect Yash Chopra movie. Little did I realize, I was living a mirage.

Yes, my family did have their reservation when I announced that I have chosen my life partner. It took time but ultimately I succeeded in convincing them. Everything felt just so awesome. So perfect. However, gradually things changed. I was asked to prioritize, to choose between my parents and career or my first and only love. Reason being since I was a girl, it’s my duty to leave my parents after marriage or so I was told.

The one quality that had drawn me towards him was somehow missing now. Things started worsening, situation went out of control. We had numerous breakups and patch ups. Every night he would call me and ask me to choose either my career and parents or him. I would say no and he would break up.

The next morning when I would have cried my eyes out and finally gathered myself, he would call and give me a glimmer of hope and say he will set everything right. Not once not twice, it happened every single night for 2 months.

Every morning I dreaded waking up, afraid of losing him. Many might call me a fool or a cry baby, including me if I would have seen someone else behave like I did.

And as they say, one fine morning all my fears and apprehensions came true. Decision was made. No. I cannot be a good wife as I was ambitious. No. I cannot be a good wife, as I might have to stay far away for my job. No, I cannot be good wife as I cannot cook “garma garam rotis for him”. Wish my parents had realized that cooking daal is more important than balancing financial statement, my state could have been different. But then, what would have been my fate? What about my parents? Do only boys’ parents get old? And my parents? They should manage on their own? Why? Just because they don’t have a SON? Why I ask why.