Once Upon A Time, I Owned 25 Handbags Only To Realize That Wasn’t My Real Happiness

Rucha Tare Rucha Tare in Single Women Bad Women on 6 May, 2018

I have always wanted to write this blog after I stepped into the late 20’s this year. But for some reasons, other things always took more importance than this and this one got shelved. Nevertheless, this blog finally took shape and here it goes.

10 things I learnt in my early 20s -

1. Make Your Own Decisions:

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This is my very first learning from all these years and from several personal experiences. Growing up, especially in India, we rely on our parents to make decisions for us. Now, with no offence whatsoever, not all decisions that someone else takes for you prove to be right for you. Especially, in terms of your career choices. Like one of the most mainstream careers in India, I was pushed into engineering without a thought. I regretted each and every day of my college, wanting to get out of it so badly. And frankly, I still couldn’t.

Make a choice that helps you sleep regret free and peacefully at night.

2. Embrace Imperfections:

We are surrounded by this virtual web that demands you to have a perfect life. We run after perfect looks, body, photos, and also, perfect relationships. Mostly in our 20’s, we try to achieve things which are too unrealistic. We crave for a chiselled body, flawless skin, sharp contours and makeup skills just like a celebrity. We lose our mind over dieting and end up spending hefty on makeup product to look good. But for what? We still look and feel the same. All that we have gained from it is frustration.

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Focus on what you can change, honour what you cannot. Be proud of yourself for who you are and how you are.

3. Life Has No Deadlines:

We often submit to the rules of society and tend to be harsh on ourselves. You are 22 and you need to have a job. As soon as you turn 24, they start looking for a suitable match for you. And if you are 26 and still not married – Oh, you are already late! By 30, you need to own a flat and have kids.

Everyone has their own take on life, own versions of progressions, and speed. You can’t compare, generalise or judge one another. Can you compare mangoes to oranges?

First, ignore all those comments you have heard and felt horrible about. Next, say to yourself that it’s okay. Let your instincts define the path of your life. It’s okay not to follow people and carve your own way.

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4. Failure Is Inevitable:

Of course, everyone fails. Now here, failure doesn’t necessarily mean failing in exams, relationships, keeping a promise or mastering a skill. It could be anything but one thing that is certain is that failure is inevitable. No matter how genius you are, you can’t master it all.

Failure doesn’t mean you need to doubt or curse yourself. You just need to try again, one more time because it will be worth it.

5. Gratitude:

Gratitude is one of the best feelings you can ever feel. Having a life worth living is in itself a boon. To be a realist, we will never have enough in life. But shouldn’t we be grateful alone for having a life?

In the course of achieving and wanting a better life, let’s now forget to thank what we have, for there is surely someone wishing for the kind of life you live.
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6. Minimalism:

It has been a year now, I am following minimalism and I am sure each one has heard this fancy new term which is quite ‘in’ these days on YouTube. Now, what is minimalism? There are many versions of this term but for me, minimalism is owning things that really add value to your life or bring joy to you. I was addicted to buying handbags; I had around 25 of them which I hardly used. I realised that it added no value to my life. A heap of makeup stuff, number of unread books and still buying the new ones, binge shopping of clothes recklessly that I never wore later, owning 4 to 5 pair of specs just under the fashion tag made no sense at all. You don’t frankly need all the good things out there in the markets. I had a habit to go and randomly shop something to make myself happy whenever I was low. From when did my happiness relate to shopping?

It took time to avoid reckless buys. But trust me, this version of me feels much better, happier, and organised.

7. The ‘LET GO’ Mantra:

How many of us play the blame game with our inner selves and curse ourselves for all the minor and major mistakes we have made in life? I certainly did. I blamed myself or people around me for years, held grudges and regrets which just weighed me down with the burden and grief. Sometimes you just need to take a deep breath and let go.

Let go of the people who cost you your peace, let go of the blame game, the past, the unhappy relationship, the worries… just let go!
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8. Value Everything And Everyone Around You:

Nothing lasts a lifetime. I often sit and wonder how life has changed from childhood to being an adult now. Things we take for granted now will matter the most later. I often took things for granted like home cooked food, things for which my parents paid for, few loyal friends or my grandma’s home remedies when I fell sick. And suddenly one day, when I no longer lived with my friends and family, I started missing those things the most.

Forever is nothing. Value things before you miss them. Most importantly, value all the love that you get.

9. Stop Comparing:

Stop comparing yourself to people.

The grass is greener on the other side always.

10. Travel Is The Key:

Travel is the remedy for most of the issues, for overcoming your fears, to find peace, to let go, to make new friends, learn things, and most importantly to find yourself.

This all may look a little overwhelming now, but I’m sure once you start embracing it, you will realise how happy and peaceful life can be. You will start sensing a purpose of living your life.

Editor's Note:

Are you having the struggle to find the joy of life? Share this story across and enlighten people on how to lead a happy life.