My Parents In Law Are Sucking The Life Out Of Me And I Am Now Basically A Robot, Not A Woman

Anonymous Anonymous in Single Women Bad Women on 5 July, 2017

I am a girl with a normal, middle class background from Delhi, or should I call myself a woman, since I am married and have a three year old son now? Since childhood I was made to believe by my parents that love marriage will never be an option for me and my siblings because we are Bengali and have to get married within the Bengali community only.

I got married at the ideal age of 25, a pretty decent age for any girl to get married. I am blessed with an amazing and supportive husband, and my bundle of joy - my son. Then where is the problem and why am I writing my story here? Well, the problem begins and ends at my parents-in-law.

I had heard the phrase 'shaadi chaar din ki chandni hai' but now I can vouch for it as I have literally experienced the blissful phase of marriage for only four days.
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Before my wedding, my father-in-law used to call me and say that I will be the daughter of their house since they did not have one. He would tell me that since my mother-in-law is a home maker and simply loves cooking and household chores, I will be free to only concentrate on my career and I felt grateful and blessed upon hearing this.

However, just after four days of marriage, my mother-in-law banged my bedroom door early in the morning and asked me to make tea for my father-in-law because he drinks tea daily at that time only.

That was the beginning of it all and this seems to have no end till date. We will be celebrating our fifth wedding anniversary soon in a few months. My mother-in-law never wanted a career woman as a bahu so she decided for herself by presuming that I will leave my job after some time of marriage or at least after the baby but this didn't happen since both my husband and father-in-law know that in today's time, single bread winner isn't sufficient to run a family.

I pay the EMI for our home loan and I am very proud of this fact. But as per my father-in-law, the bahu has to be a robot.
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I should not only earn for the family, but I should also do all the household work, cooking, any banking related work etc. I do and will continue to do everything like a machine. I try my best to keep my in laws happy so that they never interfere between me and my work. From celebrating their birthdays, to pleasing their relatives, I do everything for them but I never ever get appreciated.

They praise me in public which makes people think how great my in-laws are but reality is very different.

They fight with me for every small thing - they don't like it when my husband and I go out on weekends or anywhere for that matter, but if they accompany us then it is somehow perfectly fine. They don't like me wearing western clothes, and they talk shit about my parents' health since they are not keeping too well. The list is endless as their issues go on and on.

So in spite of having a supportive husband and a nice little so-called 'nuclear' family, my mental peace is lost completely.

I am frustrated all the time when I am at home because my in laws are always cribbing about something or the other. Due to their behavior, my relationship with my husband is going for a toss. Even leaving them is not in option for us, as they are our parents and along with parental blessings, their shadow around their children is sacred but when we understand the importance of this relationship, why can't they prioritize our needs?