My Parents-In-Law Are Making My Husband Divorce Me And Abandon My Baby

Anonymous Anonymous in Single Women Bad Women on 8 August, 2017

I got married in November 2013 and as of 2017, it has been more than a year that I have been separated from my husband. All credit for this goes to my in-laws. My father chose an income tax inspector suitor for me. He lived with his parents in his own house in Delhi, and had a sister who was married.

My father assumed that since this guy has a small family and no liabilities since he is a central government employee, my life would be smooth after marriage. Little did he know then how cruel and self-absorbed my in-laws would turn out to be.

They had demanded dowry in a very smart and undirect way, unlike most people. Their demand was - household work. Within one week of my marriage, I was told to start household work as soon as possible. So, I started with washing the dishes and doing jhadoo-pochha. I don’t mind these duties but as a newly wedded bride, I believe I should have been given more time to do them at my own pace. When my husband would get up every morning, we would all have our morning tea together. This was fine. But, before leaving for office and after returning from office, and even after dinner, he used to sit with his mother. Being newly wedded, we needed time to spend with each other, to understand and to get to know each other better. But he simply could not spare time for me. Slowly, every petty kitchen issue was passed on to him through my mother in law.

She even used to eavesdrop on my conversations with my mom, twist them completely and pass them on to my husband. He would get stirred up and start reacting without even asking for my side of the story.

There were many nights when I used to retire earlier in our bedroom as I would get tired waiting while he sat with his mom. When he would come, he would fight with me for illogical things, sometimes he even slapped me and the environment at home would stay disturbed for the following 3-4 days. Nobody would touch the food cooked by me. I was not allowed to do any household work too, as my mother in law would say “ye ghar mera hai tumhara nahi. Main khud saksham hoon." And nobody, not even my husband, would talk to me.

I got depressed and informed my parents, and they told me to apologize as they lived in a different state.

My mother tried talking to my mother in law but she outright refused to talk it out. I conceived after one year of marriage but this only added further to my in-laws’ misery. I delivered a baby boy but this did not make them happy, in fact, they started torturing me even more than before. When any issue would occur at home, they ceased to touch their own grandson. My husband was not allowed to get diapers or any baby products without the consent of my in-laws. He started behaving in an automated way and the most spineless manner possible. When our son turned three months old, my parents visited to take me to their place for a few months. One day before we were to leave, my in-laws brought up yet another petty issue to my husband’s attention. Things got so ugly and out of hand that they called my father and told him, “apni beti ko lejaiye” after insulting him in a terrible manner. He was in a state of shock but did not refuse to take me with him. I was at my parents’ house for one whole year but nobody asked me to come back. My husband too, did not talk to me properly for even a single day that I was away. Not even once did they ask about their grandson. I used to whatsapp videos and pictures of our son to him but he used to ignore them. I went back to my husband’s house after one year, without being asked to come back. I went there with my family and stayed for fifteen days flat because my in-laws made life hell for me.

I was supposed to stay confined in one room – nobody would talk to me and nobody acknowledged my son.

My husband shifted to his parents’ room. They had clearly informed me that they would not accept me at any cost and that I should move out from my matrimonial place. All my expenses were being managed by my parents. My husband even slapped me on one occasion.

Seeing no way out, I lodged a complaint in the women’s cell and filed a case in court. When they came to know about this, they made my life a bigger hell than before. I shifted to my brother’s place.

It has been one year ever since and they are still as adamant as ever. They even sent me a divorce notice a few days ago. My question remains the same - what is the fault of our two-and-a-half-year-old son in all this? Is it that easy to put an end to marriage for no apparent reason? He can get rid of me and our son, and even go on to marry again, but can he give me back my virginity? If a woman is expected to play the role of a bahu, patni and maa, all at once, why can’t a man stand up to be a son, husband and father simultaneously too? How dare do a few men consider their wives an ‘option’ when it comes to setting priorities? Also, the elders of a family are supposed to calm down any baseless issues and not aggravate them further. If parents perform their duties with humanity, no married lady will have to leave her wedded home and come back to stay with her parents.