Relationships arranged marriage feminism indian parents patriarchy freedom indian woman

My Parents Ensured That I Was A "Good Girl", Now They're Getting Me Married To This Hooligan

( words)
*For representational purpose only.

Why do parents change their opinions, perspectives very easily when it comes to someone you should marry? Even more, how do they expect you to change very quickly too?

I am brought up in a slightly conservative atmosphere. Drinking is a strict 'NO NO' in my family. Having close friends of the opposite gender was considered offensive. Wearing short dresses is not at all allowed. I must say, as times changed my parents have changed too. Though drinking and wearing short dresses is still an offence, having friends from opposite gender is allowed (terms and conditions applied).

Being an introvert and brought up in such a conservative environment, I have my own way of life and values.

I don't like drinking and people who drink a lot. I don't enjoy parties. I am possessive and don't like my partner to move closely with the opposite gender. I do have very good guy friends and am absolutely fine with friendship. But yes, understand that the limits of friendship differ from person to person. I don't like friends hugging each other, moving closer, being attached to someone else, etc. I don't think these are wrong but I just don't like it.

Now I am talking to a guy that my parents have seen for me. They have liked the family a lot and the guy is earning well. I am a post graduate from an esteemed college and earn well too. Now that we have started talking, I understand we are a completely different person. He loves parties and likes to drink. He is also close to his girlfriend so much that one day he kept talking about her continuously, of how he misses her and all. Had we already formed a bond, gained trust, and are really close, I would have accepted all these. But now, just when we started talking, I am not able to accept it.

I see nothing in common between us.

The way we think, the things we like, our attitudes and everything is different. And when I communicated the same with my parents, imagine the response. They are so cool about everything. You can change him after marriage or you adjust a bit. They have brought me up negating the same things. Now those very things are not a big deal for them. They want me to accept everything.

How can parents change so much when it comes to marriage?

These are the very things that they have stopped me and my brother from doing. Now if I am not able to accept those things, they are asking me to adjust and accept.

Share this Article

You Might Also Like...