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My Marriage And Daughter Are Perfect, But What If I Had Fought For The Life I Really Wanted?

( words)
*For representational purpose only.

I was young, full of life, with no responsibilities as such and a free soul. I met him and we felt some connection between us. Though we were from different communities, different backgrounds, different thoughts but still something got us together. We shared a bond, an invisible thread that always kept us thinking of each other. Those two years of college were the golden days of our life. We were in our imaginative world and dreamt of marrying each other and being husband and wife.

We were unaware of society, community and all other barriers that are very important for adults and the real world.

We never fought for us, or rather I never did. Once, one of my close family members, who only knew about us said no to our relationship and said that this is not possible, I called for a quit. He tried very much to convince me, my family members that we will make it happen but neither my family members got it nor did it make me believe in him. At the end of college, we had a sweet yet an incomplete goodbye for each other. But one song always reminds me of him,

Lag jaa gale ke phir ye haseen raat ho na ho, Shayad phir iss janam main mulaakat ho na ho”. But I didn't hug him also.

Today I'm happily married, and I have a sweet daughter in my hand, and he is also married and has a son. He might be happy too in his life. But still I wonder sometimes, what would it have been like if I would have tried a little harder? Obviously, this is of no use now, I am happy in my life and he in his but this question remains unanswered. I hope for his well being and happiness always and feel very sorry if I hurt him in any way. But I too had feelings for him, just what was missing was the courage to fight for him, for us, for our relationship.

We haven't met after that last goodbye on the last day of college and I don't know if we will face each other in this life but if we do come face to face, I don't know what will happen, or how I will react.

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