I am a 24 year old ambitious girl who is trying very hard to get a job. I belong to a conservative though supportive family. Being the first girl kid in my house who has been staying away from home for the last six years, I felt a huge responsibility on my shoulders to not do anything so-called "wrong".
But my perception of wrong and right have changed enormously after staying away from home. I had a broken relationship with a screwed up breakup period of 4 years. Now when I look back, I feel that I wasted four very important years of my life on someone who never deserved me. I fell into depression and visited a psychiatrist for therapies. It's then that I decided that I'm never going to get into a relationship again and I didn't till I came to Delhi after my post graduation and met this guy, Nitin.
Though he was the one who approached me but today, I find myself deeply in love with him. He has everything a girl looks for in her man. He is caring, supportive and mature. He always supported me and inspired me to work hard to get a job.
Earlier I thought it was his love that was making him support me but the reality was something else. He always wanted to marry a girl with a good job. It's been one and a half year since we have been dating each other. Our love has grown stronger with time but certain things have changed.
He is ready to marry me only if I have a grade A government job.
Though I always aimed for a reputed job profile but I never wanted to do that for anything or anybody's sake. I never felt that pressure from my parents or from anybody. I respect his so-called practical approach. But can love ever be based on conditions? If I have a job I will get my love. If not, he will marry somebody else. I really feel disgusted sometimes, as if being a housewife will reduce my worth.
I am not against working but I really don't understand what difference a job would make if I am not worthy enough to get love now. I don't understand who is wrong here - me or my lover. Is it right to be materialistic in love or it's better to accept your love the way he or she is? Having experienced a broken relationship and being deeply in love with him, I don't want to lose him and thus, I am trying my best and working as hard as I possibly could.
But the thought of parting ways if I fail always haunts me.